Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Things that really tick me off

Tonight in another insomniac daze I was reading a couple of new (at least to me) blogs I've recently discovered. Both were interesting blogs and I enjoyed reading them until.....

The ADHD Rant

Why do people have to express their opinions that all ADHD medications are evil? Even more puzzling to me is why people who believe that all ADHD meds are evil, when faced with posts that completely obliterate their arguments with personal stories of anguish from living with a child who has ADHD then feel the need to comment that it's OK for that particular child to maybe try meds after the parents have suffered for years, but all other kids are still misdiagnosed and should never be exposed to medication. I'm so frigging sick of people who think they know that ADHD is caused by sugar, TV, lack of exercise, food colorings, junk food, etc. Man, the ignorance surrounding ADHD is overwhelming. I try to inform instead of losing my temper but there are limits, people. Try living with a child who is suicidal because he's so miserable in his own skin. Try telling that kid at 7 years of age that he should just buck up and take it. Try living with a child who is so destructive, so impulsive, so violent, and so angry that everything will be fine if he stops watching TV and eating Oreos. Try explaining to all your friends, coworkers, and strangers on the street that you don't know why your child is leaping into traffic, pulling things off shelves, jumping on furniture, and is unable to focus long enough to hear your constant yelling. Try living with the mind-numbing pain of not being able to communicate with your extremely bright child because he just can't follow a sentence without losing his attention. Try sending that child to school and watching him fail every single class, not because he doesn't have the intelligence, but because he's so hyperfocussed on something other than what they're learning in school, so unable to transition from one topic to another, so unwilling to cooperate and do classwork and absolutely unable to follow any general rules.

Then you take that kid to the doctor and they say, "try medicating him" and you, as a parent are fearful of meds and buy into the whole "every kid is on ritalin" nonsense and hesitate to give your kid the help that he needs. When you finally succumb to the pressure and medicate your child he turns into a zombie or he gets tics or he has such severe rebound that it's worse than it was without medication. This is just a tiny bit of what living with a kid with ADHD is about.

My son has severe ADHD. He not only has the problems with focussing, but he is also extremely impulsive and has problems with distructiveness, violence, and explosiveness. With medications, he is able to get through the day without losing it, without screwing up, and with a modicom of success socially. He's now a straight A student in high school, and he's happy in ways he's never been before. For this I bless the drug companies for finding medications to help him. Medicating a child that needs it is not a bad thing, and I do not want to ever hear that my kid is the exception to the rule. There are so many kids like mine, and their parents don't need the guilt of those who don't know and don't live with the problems of brain disorders.

Hidden Disabilities

I've seen quite a few comments about people who have the unmitigated gall to park in a handicapped space with a hang tag but who don't look handicapped. People, I'm sick of this crap. I'm one of those people with a hangtag that doesn't look handicapped, but if you have followed my blog for any length of time you'll know that I am disabled, that I have a serious and life threatening heart condition, and that I deserve to park in a handicapped space regardless of whether or not I look handicapped. So lets set the record straight: when you see someone with a hangtag, regardless of what they look like, know that they have had to prove their disability with doctor's recommendations to the DMV. Their doctors know more than you do. They might have end stage cancer, or might be on dialysis, or might have heart disease. Just because we look good doesn't mean we feel good, so please, no more judgements. And don't park in our spaces, even for a few minutes to just 'run in' and get some coffee. If you take our spaces, we can't do the errands we need to get done. I can't walk from the back of a parking lot to a store. I need that handicapped space and if you take it, you're depriving me of my rights.

OK, enough ranting.
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Blogger A.K. said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

28/9/05 1:31 PM  
Blogger A.K. said...

(Sorry, there was no way to edit).

I apologize for my generalization, in no way was I trying to disparrage people who have both right and reason to park in a handicapped spot.But I think you should really have a beef with the people who do take advantage of hangtags/handicapped parking, not me who is just bitching about someone littering.

28/9/05 1:36 PM  
Blogger margalit said...

I was in no way pointing to you specifically. I was pointing to a bunch of folks, including people IRL who continue to park in handicapped places regardless of how they are marked. I happen to live in a place where 4 households share a parking lot. One of the residents is a tutor and has a lot of coming and going all afternoon long. I cannot TELL you how many times I come home to find my marked parking space taken. I've complained to her, but she won't tell her clients to not park there. And I have asked these people countless times to not park in MY space, a space not only marked For Residents Only, but also with a placard sign. The biggest excuse? "I was just running in to pick up my kid!" Like that makes any difference to me when I can't park and can't get into my home. Just happened within the last half hour, and the bitch who parked there not only parked in my space, but took TWO spaces so her precious Jaguar didn't get scratched.

28/9/05 5:39 PM  
Anonymous Carrie said...

I never really understood the ADD thing until I had a boy in class who's parents refused to medicate him. I had him in a 90 minute study hall every other day and every single person in that classroom was miserable. I will never say a bad word about Ritalin again. That poor boy's life could have been improved drastically if he was allowed to take it (I think. . . I'm not doctor). Every time I hear someone make disparaging remarks about medicating ADD/ADHD kids I think of that boy and what it must have been like to try to live with himself.

28/9/05 6:09 PM  
Blogger A.K. said...

How irritating. I'm sorry you have to deal with that, maybe you could cone off the space, or start reporting the offenders? Tickets for parking in a handicapped space are awfully pricey. :)

29/9/05 9:41 AM  
Blogger Belinda said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

30/9/05 2:03 PM  
Blogger Belinda said...

Sorry--I thought I put my comment in the wrong place and deleted it, then realized my mistake, so here it is again! And it's not even that good. pbbltt.

Would you like me to smack Tom Cruise upside the head for you? 'Cuz, um, I'd enjoy it.

Also, ADHD has strong ties to bipolar disorder, so we're very sympathetic to that. And it's definitely something to keep in mind diagnostically as The Boy matures. Many, many bipolar adults were dx'd ADD or ADHD as children.

30/9/05 2:06 PM  
Blogger margalit said...

You ain't telling me nothing our psychopharm has already told us. We've got the diagnosis, we're doing the meds, and amazingly, it's all working (knock wood). Bipolar disease runs rampant on my maternal side, including one of my siblings, so I'm well aware of the symptions and the destruction of the disorder. Catching it early, before the mania parts become appealing is really impostant. Thankfully, we did that last year.

30/9/05 5:22 PM  
Blogger VenusNewYork said...

Hi, I think you are one of the lucky ones. Not all ADDH kids get those ace results from medications. I wonder when the school systems are going to quit leaving kids behind because they are not easy to take care of. There has to be some solutions other than medications. Because not all kids can take those medications and then some kids are not affected by the medicine. In other words their ADDH is not addressed. Now my nephew is almost 18 he has been to court-ordered boot camp. At boot camp the Marines programmed and indoctrinated him in to enlisting. I don't think that's right. Anyway if my nephew misses parole he'll go to the state pen for a year. And what did he do? He got drunk and broke into a friend's house. The law has been tough on him. The school has sent him to be with others who commit serious crimes. You can see that ADDH is much more than about medicine. I read that over 75% of the prison population is ADDH. What really makes me upset is when people claim that they are ADD etc. and it is just a joke with them. ADDH is very serious. Our society very much needs an ADDH Awareness Month and color it polka dot.

8/10/05 12:15 AM  
Anonymous pia said...

ADHD is horrible; I had learning disorders, and other problems including ADHD that weren't diaganosed until I was in my 30's and had somehow graduated college, and had been successful despite myself. (Boston University actually)

But it caught up with me; no I wasn't working above my potential as people assume when they hear "ld's" and ADHD, but below it.

Strattera somewhat helps, but not enough. It's very hard at this stage of life to be constantly monitoring myself for organization and other problems.

As you say more eloquently it's hard to have an invisible disablity

Being constantly aware of what I gave up--didn't have children because I was scared I would neglect them--makes it worse. Oh I'm just having a pity party, excuse me.

9/10/05 2:51 PM  

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