Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Thursday, October 20, 2005

This is the day that never ends

Oh yes, it goes on and on my friend. Thanks to the late Shari Lewis for that delightful sentiment. But she's right, some days just never end. This appears to be one of those days filled with appointments, disappointments, and bad news. Went to my shrink today and started ranting on all the freakin interventions we have in my family and how tired I am of people sniffing up my ass. It's enough already. But at this point, I'm stuck with things the way the are for another few months before we can be free of all this therapy and involvement and self-examination up the wazoo. Then I talked about how the only 'me time' I enjoy is when I'm blogging, and my therapist was really encouraging about this so I think I might commit more time to making this blog a better rant and raving place to be.

From therapy I went directly to my PCP for my flu shot and checkup. I spend an inordinate amount of time in doctor's offices and although I have little patience for doctors overall, I LOVE my PCP. We got into this great discussion about George Bush and the fact that Harriet Mier said he 'was the most brilliant man' she'd ever met. Had a few laughs over that, and then moved on to Tom Cruise. I thought I had issues with the TomKat, but she was just spitting nails. She said that when she saw the tapes of him on Oprah and on the Today show she was pretty sure he was in the midst of a mental breakdown. She explained medically why she thought this, and I had to agree. Then I told her my theory of the Katie Holmes foam belly and she was really sucking it in. She loved it. I told her that Katie's navel was pooching out and she was like "No WAY." We had a good laugh over that whole scenario and moved on to how dangerous Tom was and what a nutcase he must be and how sad it was that Katie got sucked into the whole deal. I asked her if she was going to attend The Laramie Project play this weekend and she had read about the protests but thought that Reverend Phelps was a local crackpot. We went online and I showed her his church's web site and she was just flabberghasted. All in all, quite the delightful appointment, as I got a new prescription for a higher dose of Effexor. Hopefully my mood will improve shortly.

I got back home and logged into my email and found mail from my friend I that was titled Medical Bad News. I didn't even want to open it, but there is was just staring at me. The biopsy came back and it's malignant. I just can't believe it. I'm so sad I can barely keep my head up. I cried and cried. Nobody deserves this much tsuris in the life. She's a good person, she's never done a thing to deserve such pain. I'm pretty angry at God right now. I'm not a person who believes that God controls everything, but hell, this family has been through more than anyone can imagine and it's not fucking fair.

The Girl had yet another huge project due tomorrow and spent most of the night bitching at me because I wouldn't do it for her. I helped her with the research and finding the relevant facts, but she was supposed to make a brochure about a space mission and had been assigned the LAMEST possible subject, the Echo (yeah, I never heard of it either) telecommunications satellite from 1960. We did the best we could, but there was almost no information available on this satellite and she was livid. Plus she had a second project to do on the importation of slaves from Africa and she's getting up at 6:30 to finish it. That poor kid has hours and hours of homework a night. She's learning a lot, but sometimes I question why there is just so much for her to do.

Meanwhile the Boy has absolutely no homework because he does it all in study hall in school, and tries to 'help' his sister by invading her space. He doesn't understand why things take her longer and that she learns by writing things down. He's got a photographic memory and never writes anything down due to his dysgraphia, so they learn totally differently and he's got no patience for it.

By 11:00 I was exhausted and glad to see their butts heading upstairs. Enough is enough.

Madonna and David Letterman are riding horses in Times Square. Life gets weirder and weirder.

Just one more doctors appointment tomorrow to see my cardiologist. I heard today that my surgery has been rescheduled for November 17th, but I only know that because my PCP looked it up on the surgery site. Nobody bothered to ask me if that date was convenient for me. Nice, eh?
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