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Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Friday, November 04, 2005

A Free Friday

I have absolutely nothing to do on Friday beyond making a Shabbas dinner. I have no plans to do anything. No appointments, no therapy, no doctors, no meetings. Nothing. I might pay some bills, and maybe I'll read but mostly I'm hoping to spend the day sleeping. It's been a very busy week with a lot of activities outside the house. Meetings and appointments are extremely tiring for me, and this week I've had a couple of days with 2 or 3 different things to do. This kind of schedule is exhausting me to the point of being unable to stay awake without catnaps.

People keep asking me if things will improve once I have my surgery in a couple of weeks. I don't know. I don't think it is going to make that much of a difference to my daily life at all. I think the whole point of this surgery is to install the device that will shock my heart back into beating if it stops suddenly. Other than that, it's supposed to be on the lookout for an irregular heartbeat and give me small shocks if that happens.

My kids are starting to get worried and itchy about the upcoming surgery. It's normal considering how serious all this is, but it is very hard for me to talk to them about it. I'm scared and I don't want them to know that I'm scared because the Boy is so anxious that he'll freak out if he senses my own anxiety. I'm not putting on a happy face, but I'm not sharing my innermost thoughts either.

So, for now I think about what kind of chicken I'm going to make tomorrow, and I'll bake some challah and maybe something good for dessert like an apple crisp, and we'll light candles and talk about the weekend and try to remember to return the movie we rented to Blockbuster. It's supposed to be in the 70's this weekend, so we're going to have to find something outdoors to do, our last blast of summer before the snow really starts to fall.
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5 Comments:

Blogger Aginoth said...

Hi Margalit.

Michelle sent me.

Hope all goes well with the surgery.

Oh I haven't had Challah in ages, I'm sure my Mother in Law will have some around Christmas....I know I know, Christmas isn't very Jewish, but then I'm not, but my wife is :o) We get the best of two cultures.

4/11/05 5:01 AM  
Blogger Dak-Ind said...

as i am new here, (Hello, Michele sent me) i wondered if you had like atrial fibrolation or something similar to that? i went thru a pacemaker surgery with a friend who was just 25 when he got it installed. and my ex had cathater surgery for his atrial fibraliation. heart surgery is always scary, but i have faith that you will coem thru like a trooper! good luck.

4/11/05 7:12 AM  
Blogger margalit said...

No, I don't have arterial fribulation. I have a congenital heart defect called hypertrophic cardiiomyopathy and I'm getting the pacemaker/defib installed because my heart is starting to wear out and I've gone into congestive heart failure. I'll eventually need a heart transplant, but this surgery will enable my heart to be shocked back into sinus if it stops.

Thanks for the good wishes.

4/11/05 2:36 PM  
Blogger lesbonstemps said...

Good wishes for your surgery. It must be really scary for both you and your kids. I think baking challah and lighting candles and talking sounds perfect. Staying busy and trying to live in the moment always helps me in times of great stress.

4/11/05 2:52 PM  
Blogger Belinda said...

Have a good, restful weekend. You're right--don't *lie* to the kids, but there's no reason to spill your guts and worry them needlessly.

4/11/05 5:23 PM  

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