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Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Friday, December 02, 2005

Flashback Friday


This week's assignment is to flash back to a warm and fuzzy moment in parenting. You would think that this would be hard, especially when you've been parenting for thirteen years, but the moment I am writing about flashed into my mind the second I read the assignment.

The Girl was a very difficult infant. She was inconsolable most of the time, she cried, shreiked, yelled, and arched her back with anger for many months. She hated to be touched, hated being kissed, hated nursing, hated being next to me in sleep, and pretty much hated life. She was one bitch of a baby much of the time. It was apparent right off that she had problems. She had feeding problems and never learned to latch on, so I pumped for her for an amazingly long time. She had silent reflux that she never outgrew, and stomach empty problems, so was on an assortment of medications prescribed by her pediatric gastroenterologist.

In addition, she was diagnosed with spastic quadraplegia (CP) at 4 months, and it was unsure if she would ever walk. She was also microcephalic, and had a brain bleed right after birth, so nobody knew what the consequences of all these problems would be later on.

At 4 months of age, she started very intensive early intervention, and our family was blessed with Mindy, the world's greatest physical therapist. She got the Girl right away, both as a strong personality, and as a kid that just did not want to do what she didn't want to do. She has not changed one iota, by the way. Mindy was the first person that the Girl allowed to touch her, but it wasn't without a fight. The Girl had sensory integration problems and she really shrunk from any form of touch, especially on her bare skin. But Mindy taught me to brush the Girl with a soft paintbrush, and then we graduated to a baby hairbrush, and eventually the Girl became used to her skin being touched. She still hated to be held, however, and spent much of her time either in the beloved swing, or in her car seat or bouncy seat. Picking her up and placing her someplace else aroused her ire and she would scream bloody murder. But Mindy kept encouraging me to try and carry her, which was similar to trying to carry a feral cat.

One night, when the Girl was about 7 months old, I picked her up out of her swing, and she didn't cry. She snuggled her head into my neck and relaxed. It was miraculous. I was afraid to move for fear that she would freak out, but she was calm for more than a minute or two, so I decided to cast fate to the wind, and sat down with her in the rocking chair. We rocked back and forth, and I sang to her and she just melted into my chest and fell asleep. It was the first time that my baby let me hold her, and it was probably the most memorable night of my life.
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17 Comments:

Blogger TC said...

What a wonderful moment. I love that story. I am going to do my Flashback Friday post shortly.

2/12/05 9:46 AM  
Anonymous Karin said...

Lovely story. Thank you for sharing that moment. :)

2/12/05 10:43 AM  
Blogger Shari said...

That was absolutely beautiful.

2/12/05 1:13 PM  
Blogger Candace said...

Hello, Michele sent me, and boy! am I glad she did! What a wonderful and worthwhile blog you've got here! I'll be baaack.

2/12/05 2:23 PM  
Blogger utenzi said...

Michele sent me to see you, Margalit.

It sounds like your daughter was really difficult at first. I hope that the small and large problems she was presented with at birth were able to be overcome. Obviously you felt it was all worth it when you held her in your arms.

2/12/05 2:26 PM  
Blogger ribbiticus said...

what a lovely story! am sure all the difficulties in the beginning were well worth it now.

visiting via michele today. :)

2/12/05 2:32 PM  
Blogger craziequeen said...

Here from Michele's

Flashback Friday sounds like a good idea :-)

Wonderful story, Margalit :-)

cq

2/12/05 6:08 PM  
Blogger kenju said...

How poignant that story is. I do hope she is able to accept touch now.

My twins (and their 2 sibs) are coming to spend the night with me tonight. Yaaaaay!

Michele sent me.

2/12/05 6:22 PM  
Blogger Sexy Soccamom said...

Boy am I glad Michele sent me. That was a wonderful story. Thanks for sharing it.

2/12/05 6:28 PM  
Anonymous Nikki-ann said...

That is so sweet and what a reward for your hard work :)

2/12/05 6:37 PM  
Blogger Chatty said...

Thanks for sharing your story!

Michele sent me.

2/12/05 8:14 PM  
Blogger Chatty said...

(another rabid Sox fan too!)

2/12/05 8:14 PM  
Blogger Sandy said...

What a sweet memory.

Thanks for stopping by my blog and sharing the snowflake site. My kids will love it!

2/12/05 8:31 PM  
Blogger Marcia said...

I know how amazing it is when a baby who's shy finally lets you hold her. I can only imagine how incredible being accepted by your own baby for the first time must be! You gave me warm fuzzies all over!

michele sent me!

2/12/05 10:56 PM  
Blogger Celena said...

Omg, make me cry!

3/12/05 12:23 AM  
Blogger Carmi said...

God, what an amazing image. I'm so glad you shared it.

3/12/05 10:02 PM  
Blogger jennifer starfall said...

*sniff. *sniff. beautiful.

6/12/05 1:57 PM  

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