Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Saturday, January 14, 2006

We've all experienced hate, right?

Some of the 'comments' I've received on my blog, and elsewhere are amazing. I mean, when I read a blog, I take what is said at face value. I have no reason to doubt what a person is describing or what a person is sharing. I try not to read into other people's posts, just as I hope people don't read into my posts things that aren't there. I think that's fair. I get enough positive comments from most of you that I can tell when someone's had an off day or maybe an off year, as opposed to being just plain off. But there are some people out there in netland that have more than a screw loose. Those are the folks that make me more than a tad bit sad. Recently, I've been accused of faking my disability. Well, I'm sure the social security agency that did months of investigatory work on my particular PHYSICAL disability might be surprised. I don't know why people have decided that my disability is mental, or in one case, that my disability is that I'm fat. I think social security would be in a lot bigger mess than it's proported to be if fat people could collect SSDI. Not that these accusations are in any way plausable since none of these people know me personally, but...

What astounds me about this kind of stuff is not only that someone could be so mean as to make fun of a disabled person, but that the level of stupidity is so high amongst some people that they actually believe social security is just handed out like diaper coupons. So I'm about to set you all straight on how difficult it is to get SSDI and what kind of hoops you have to jump through to qualify. Maybe that might enlighten the readers amongst us that don't get it.

To qualify for SSDI you must have a very specific physical or mental disability. Mental disabilities are expecially difficult to prove and can take years to justify. Physical disabilities are equally difficult, and social security knows exactly what is and isn't total inability to work.

To apply, go online and visit Social Security Online, where you will have to fill out an incredibly long and complicated form. In order to fill in this form, you need the names and dates of all doctors and hospitals you have been in, the names and dates of all medications you take, information about your entire education and work history and any other personal information they ask about. You cannot refuse to answer any questions. From what I've read, and from personal experience, it can take up to two weeks to get the entire form filled out and submitted.

Once you have submitted the form, you'll hear back from social security, probably from your local office, telling you that their online form is unreliable and thus you have to go through the entire form again either in their office or by phone. They make a phone appointment, and you must be there for the call. Then they submit that report. This is their take on how the application process works.

You tend to wait between 3-6 months from that time, before you get a determination. It's estimated that only 15% of applications are accepted the first time around. Luckily mine was, because I have such a clear cut disability and there is no mistaking that it is both life threatening and therefore too dangerous for me to work. Here is social security's definition of disability.

Everyone clear on this? Can we now move on?
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Blogger Minerva said...

Don't let the ****tards get you down..Some people are just ignorant...but you are a mother of twins and SO AM I! A couple of years behind you I think as mine are currently 10 with a 12 year old as well...

Aren't we amazing?

Good luck in the BOBs...


14/1/06 10:54 PM  
Blogger Minerva said...

Oh rats..I forgot, Michele sent me...

14/1/06 10:55 PM  
Blogger kenju said...

And my daughter has twins - age 9!

argalit, I cannot imagine why anyone would think you were faking it - but I guess you should just consider the source and brush it off.
Michele sent me.

14/1/06 11:12 PM  
Blogger Carmi said...

Nicely put. I can not BELIEVE the audacity of some people. So many know-it-alls seem to think their perspective is the only one that matters, and that justifies their flinging BS around like cotton candy at a county fair.

Judgmental, pathetic and sad. I hope there's enough good in the world to cancel it out.

14/1/06 11:16 PM  
Blogger Ayelet said...

I'm so confused. Why the hell would anyone think they had a clue about your disability and it's severity and effect on your ability to work? Call me crazy, but I think people should start minding their own business.

15/1/06 1:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a close friend of Margalit, both online and IRL, I know firsthand that her illness and disability is very, very real and has been life-threatening. I'm sometimes amazed that she accomplishes as much as she does, rather just than giving up and sitting back while life passes by.

Eliyahu in Walla Walla

15/1/06 2:07 AM  
Blogger Barbara said...

Margalit - Who cares about the mean spirited? Not me.

15/1/06 12:58 PM  
Blogger Never That Easy said...

I've never been here before, so I don't know about your specific disability, but having applied for SSDI myself, I can second the fact that it is a long, degrading and arduous process. And that the guidelines are strict, and the decision making process is stringent.
I'm new to the blogosphere myself, and think it's horrible that you would be receiving such hateful comments. I don't understand why someone would decide to say such things - if they didn't believe you, why not just move on? Why stay here and comment? To have to explain yourself this was is unfortunate, and I hope that you won't be plagued by this anymore.

15/1/06 2:10 PM  
Anonymous Deana said...

I can honestly say I would never leave anything negative on another's blog....but then again I am sane and polite....
Don't worry with the mean spirited, they are lacking something.

I did go vote for you! You were the only mommy I knew on there.

15/1/06 3:26 PM  
Blogger valbee said...

I wish I could say that this kind of behavior surprises me, but in the past couple of months I've been witnessing repeated attacks on another blogger who's a freelance journalist trying to cover a story in our community. And many of the people who are attacking him have never met him nor are they from the area. The worst part is watching them hijack posts he makes by making hateful comments that have absolutely nothing to do with the topic of the original post. Some people truly need to get a life.

I think the best way to deal with idiots like these is to ignore them. Delete what they say and move on. This is your blog and anyone who comments here is essentially your guest. You wouldn't allow a guest to come into your home and treat you poorly, so there's no reason to tolerate it here.


15/1/06 5:35 PM  
Blogger margalit said...

Thank you all so much for your lovely comments. I knew in my heart that not everyone is an asstard, jealous, and just plain mean, but I needed to hear it from someone other than my family and friends, I guess. Your support is greatly appreciated, and the knowledge that there are so many nice people out there certainly helps me when I know that my detractors are still lurking here daily, looking for something else to attack me for. Talk about the little people.

Oh well, some folks just never get past the mean girl stage. Thank goodness there are so few out there. Hugs to all the nice folks. You deserve it.

15/1/06 7:06 PM  
Blogger Janet said...

It's amazing how nit picky some people can be. I guess it's just easier when it's not being said to someone's face and instead hide behind the big, bad blog.

Congrats on your nomination!

15/1/06 7:39 PM  
Blogger amanda said...

Maybe people are bitter. My husband was turned down for disability at age 23 because he hadn't worked enough to earn it. When we asked the rep how he was supposed to have earned the S.S. credits when he's had cancer twice since 1999, no one had a good answer.

I know that anyone who gets disability has to go through the same process...but when I meet people that get it for having migraines or something similar (even though I have them too, and know that there's no way that you can work with one), I get a little bitter...because my husband's had a rare form of leukemia TWICE in the past 6 years and S.S. won't help.

15/1/06 9:30 PM  
Blogger Christine said...

One of my best friends is on SSDI. She is 24, thin, gorgeous ... so people would assume that she is pulling off some big scam (I guess if she had stringy hair and was carrying around an IV bag it would be okay?).

What they don't see is the 30+ pills she has to take each and every day. They don't see the scar from the heart thingy she had to wear for two years. They don't understand that she is terminal and a normal stomach virus can threaten her life. Pregnancy carries a more than 90% chance of death for her.

Another side of SS is that they can deny your coverage randomly, without any updated doctor's info, etc. So, then you have someone too ill to work, without coverage and without any money! You also have to go through a long, tedious appeals process to prove their goof.


People just don't get it. Hang in there.

16/1/06 10:27 AM  
Blogger kontan said...

some people are just stuck on stupid and you just have to overlook them.

sorry to comment on old posts, i'm just catching up on my reading.

16/1/06 10:52 AM  

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