I don't have Olympic fever. OK, I've admitted it in public. I think the winter Olympics are boring. Plain old yawnaliciously boring. I can watch a bit, but I can't stand the voiceovers and the constant overcoming obstacles sob stories used as background filler bore me to death. Like, do you know anyone that hasn't overcome obstacles? I sure don't. Of course, I don't know any royalty either. I like to watch a tiny bit of speed skating. It's really beautiful to watch, and those athletes, don't they look like they're wearing giant condoms?
Ski jumping thrills me. Moguls just look to painful and all I can see is the skier in the operating room with an orthopedic surgeon cutting the knee open. Nope, don't like that one at all. Downhill would be great if there was any snow in Turino, but since there isn't, it's kinda painful to watch skiers pile up at the bottom of their run.
I hate ice skating. I mean, I don't hate the sport of skating, although I have never ever, not even once, been on ice skates. Not too much opportunity for it growing up in Los Angeles, and I do have weak ankles. Besides, I'm scared shitless of falling down and killing my bum. So ice skating has never held much attraction for me. I don't like the men's costumes, which are creepily like lion tamer costumes, and the women's costumes, tres ugly. Fugly.
I wish they would show hockey on NBC, as we don't have cable, but that's not going to happen because you can't fit a whole hockey game into a 1/2 hour, can you? So no hockey for you. Curling? What the hell is that sport? Does anyone outside of Canada even know what it's about? And those mascots? The Giant Marshmallow Head guy? Did that actually take a real designer to think of that insanity? Bad, bad design.
So, I'm not into the Olympics and I wish they were over already. Another whole week of it. Admit it, you're really missing beach volleyball about now, aren't you?
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