Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Thursday, February 16, 2006

I am a bad, bad, bad, bad person

Yes, it's true. I suck. Not all the time, but a lot of the time I have a tendancy to lean towards serious suckiness. Today was one of those days. Just look at these examples and see if you do not agree.

I cancelled my colonoscopy appointment again. This is the 3rd time I've cancelled. I know I have to go, I know it's important, but I just so cannot get into the whole pre-procedure thing that I'd rather not go and risk serious illness or death than drinking that stuff. It's disgusting and there is no other word for it. I keep hoping that they'll invent a new way to do this without a thorough colon cleansing beforehand, but so far, no dice. So I suck. I'll make another appointment and I'll cancel it, too. I need someone to take me by the hand and drag me to the hospital. Yes, I have to have it done in the big scary hospital because of my defibrillator. That sucks, too. I'm bad.

This morning, just as the Girl was leaving she shouted out to me, "I'm letting Worthless Pet out." I mumbled something back, turned over and went back to sleep. Then I forgot all about him. Usually during the day he sleeps in a box under my bed (don't even ask) or in the linen closet or someplace equally dark and quiet, so I often space him out. I know, I'm a bad pet 'guardian'. When I work up later on, I got all busy with phone calls and dealing with some business stuff and school stuff that I promise I will not blog about for a while (I can hear that collective sigh of relief), and then of course I got all into my soap. Next thing I know the Boy yells out "Hi mom, I let the cat in." and it's 3:00 pm. Yeah, I left the cat outside the entire day. It was warm enough, but this is an animal that must, in all circumstances, check his food bowl hourly, ditto for the litter box. He likes to survey all that is his, and staying out for 7 hours with snow on the ground probably scarred him for life. But who would know, because he's on my bed in what we like to call "coma sleep", the sleep of a cat who is so exhausted from the world that you can't rouse him until say, 3 am when he absolutely, positively has to have a treat of kitty crack right this second and he means NOW. Luckily I finally wised up and now keep a pack of kitty crack on my bedside table, which of course means that he wakes me up by knocking things off the table, one by one, in a sort of kitty version of chinese water torture.

Look, there goes mom's glasses. Plop. Now it's time for the chapstick. Plop. Oh boy, hand lotion. That will make a big noise. PLOP. Hmmm, this book looks exceedingly heavy. I'll send it to the floor in one sweeping motion. Plop. And so on....

Lastly, I got a call today from a high ranking school employee to talk to me about my blog. Can you believe it! It's ok, I happen to really like this person and we get along well, and I explained that I don't edit myself on my blog for anyone, that the blog is for me to write about what is important to me, and if someone is upset by what I wrote, then they shouldn't keep reading. But I do feel badly that some teachers were upset by my writing. I don't mean to alienate the entire teaching profession. I definately respect teachers on the whole, and feel that they get an incredibly raw deal financially and emotionally. However, that does not mean for one second that when there are teachers I feel are doing wrong by my kids that I won't complain on my blog about them. I will, and I will continue to do so until the whole brouhaha is straightened out to my satisfaction. This blog is my personal way of getting my frustrations out, sharing my emotions and my feelings and especially my thoughts about the life that goes on around me. I don't think I could endure being essentially housebound if I didn't have this outlet, and I'm certainly unwilling to self-edit to sooth someone's hurt feelings. I'm happy to try and be more sensitive about my writing, but it is my blog and it's my place to vent about all sorts of stuff, not just the schools. I trash the entire US government, for heaven's sake. But again, if I hurt your particular feelings, I'm sorry. Just lay off my kid and everything will be hunky dory again, OK?

So, in conclusion. I suck and I'm bad and that's just the way it is. Deal with it. I do every freaking day.
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Blogger Shane said...

ah go tell your fellow teachers to go file a grievance, or file a worker's comp claim or sumptin, or better yet, prepare a lesson! ingrates

17/2/06 1:39 AM  
Blogger Shari said...

Don't change what you write for anyone. The things that get the most attention are the things that hit close to home.

17/2/06 10:58 AM  
Blogger The Torch Singer said...

michele sent me....


Love the cat story..I'm sure he was fiine outside for 7 hours....probably had a blast!

17/2/06 10:11 PM  
Blogger Carmi said...

If they don't like your blog, they're always free to start their own. It's not as if you're naming names, anyway. Geez, I think they need to take a Valium and relax.

17/2/06 11:36 PM  
Blogger Courtney said...

Very few of my workmates know about my blog, even though I made the decision when I began it not to talk about work related things on it. Occassionally, I'll go there, with heavy masking and identifying information edited. It's a little different for me though, since I work with these people.

But, yeah, like Carmi said, they're free to start their own. Or just close the browser window. For God's sake, I live in your area, and I can't figure out what school it is. They should chill.

18/2/06 11:53 AM  

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