I can't tell you guys what the issue is, because it's not our family that's going through hell right now. I can't tell you who or why or how, but I can ask that you send a lot of good vibes to friends of ours that are having very hard times and need all the vibes they can get (and more!).
You know how sometimes you're just helpless and you have to stand by and watch people in a lot of pain? How you want to do something, but honestly, nothing you can do can help to make it better except to be there and let them know that you offer a safe place? How you think that if only you could do A or B, it might help to make a difference, but in actuality you can't offer either A or B, and even if you could, it wouldn't help. It's so frustrating for me. I want to help. I want to make things better. I can't stand to watch people in pain. I especially can't stand to watch children in pain. But I can't do anything right now. I've done what I can for now, and I know that what I've done is such a drop in the bucket, but that's all I can do. It has nothing to do with my disability or my financial options. It has to do with just being able to change someone's lives for the better, and at this point, I'm not superhuman and I can't make the world all better. I would like to, but I can't.
I'm sad because I've SO been there and experienced so much of the same stuff our friends are going through, but they don't need to know that. It's not about me, it's about them. I know that in the long run, getting out of bad situations is horribly painful and very difficult, and sometimes even when you're long gone, the old stuff comes back to bite you in the ass. For me, watching someone go through the same kind of stuff that I went through is more than sobering, it's horribly difficult. I want to believe that things change, they improve, there is more protection, but the deal is, unless people in a relationship are honest about the evil that permeates their lives, they aren't going to get help. And why should anyone choose to be honest with me, especially people that don't know my past because I don't share it readily. It's that old dicotomy of being open to share the pain, or closing off the pain and risking not being able to share when you need to.
Oy, what a complicated life we all lead. It seems so easy sometimes, getting up, doing the kid and house thing, making dinner, watching some tv, and then going back to bed, rinse and repeat. Then something happens totally out of the blue and it all changes. Pain that you buried comes bubbling back up and you fight back the tears while you watch your evil shit repeat itself in someone elses life. I hate this. I really can't stand feeling like this. Why is it that everyone is going through such hard times in my life? Can't someone somewhere get a break? Stumble It! JBlog Me