One thing you don't know about me (out of many, actually) is that I have the absolute loudest sneeze you're probably ever heard. I'm not one of those delicate little flowers with the teeny tiny 'cheoo' sneezes. Nope, not me. I'm a "AAAAAAAACCCCHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO" kinda gal. I mean loud. Really really explosively loud. Window rattling loud. Scaring off birds and squirrels loud. Competing with overhead jet planes loud.
Why am I sharing this information? Because, dear friends, it is the very beginning of allergy season. The time of year when the sneeze becomes a precious part of my personality.
My sneeze is so thunderous I have to plan ahead. Oh, a trip to the library today? Gotta wait until I've had at least an hour of solid sneezing under my belt. Because we don't want to disturb the patrons and knock books off shelves, do we?
During the heart of allergy season, I wake up and sneeze and sneeze and sneeze, rapid fire. I'm thinking that they could send me to Iraq as a weapon of mass destruction because I could destroy the eardrums of all around me. Plus, I'm spreading germs. Germ warfare... and added bonus! How come Cheney hasn't thought of this, yet?
When the Worthless Pet is in the same room with me and I sneeze, he jumps sky high and runs away like he's just been hit with a pellet gun. I'm that scary.
Once, a doctor told me that it is dangerous to hold in your sneezes, that you should sneeze as vigorously as possible. I wonder if she meant rib breaking sneezing? Pee in your pants sneezing? I can't imagine anyone would actually recommend sneezing like mine. But then again, the entertainment value is priceless. Stumble It! JBlog Me