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Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

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Saturday, March 18, 2006

Imagine this, if you will

One thing you don't know about me (out of many, actually) is that I have the absolute loudest sneeze you're probably ever heard. I'm not one of those delicate little flowers with the teeny tiny 'cheoo' sneezes. Nope, not me. I'm a "AAAAAAAACCCCHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO" kinda gal. I mean loud. Really really explosively loud. Window rattling loud. Scaring off birds and squirrels loud. Competing with overhead jet planes loud.


Why am I sharing this information? Because, dear friends, it is the very beginning of allergy season. The time of year when the sneeze becomes a precious part of my personality.

My sneeze is so thunderous I have to plan ahead. Oh, a trip to the library today? Gotta wait until I've had at least an hour of solid sneezing under my belt. Because we don't want to disturb the patrons and knock books off shelves, do we?

During the heart of allergy season, I wake up and sneeze and sneeze and sneeze, rapid fire. I'm thinking that they could send me to Iraq as a weapon of mass destruction because I could destroy the eardrums of all around me. Plus, I'm spreading germs. Germ warfare... and added bonus! How come Cheney hasn't thought of this, yet?

When the Worthless Pet is in the same room with me and I sneeze, he jumps sky high and runs away like he's just been hit with a pellet gun. I'm that scary.

Once, a doctor told me that it is dangerous to hold in your sneezes, that you should sneeze as vigorously as possible. I wonder if she meant rib breaking sneezing? Pee in your pants sneezing? I can't imagine anyone would actually recommend sneezing like mine. But then again, the entertainment value is priceless.
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18 Comments:

Blogger Miss Cow is a Cow said...

Hello Michele sent me.

18/3/06 2:29 PM  
Blogger Shane said...

I hate sneezing. I sneeze hard too. I actually feel a pain in my left forearm sometimes when I sneeze too hard - kinda like a carpel tunnel/charley horse thing. Sometimes I frequently crack my back with a sneeze. I don't like other people scaring the bejesus outta me with their sneezes. I wonder if your mean nasty blog visitor (the one who can't spell) sneezes. She probably cusses when she sneezes. Please rhymes with sneeze -- so does wheeze.

18/3/06 2:36 PM  
Blogger Peri said...

HI there, Michelle sent me.
I used to live in Webster, MA.....I miss new england.

allergies are no fun!!

18/3/06 2:38 PM  
Blogger The Torch Singer said...

oh yuk..

I have a sneeze phobia....and that picture makes me feel sick.

michele sent me...

I am one of those little sneeze people...

18/3/06 2:41 PM  
Blogger mar said...

Don't you ever hold your sneezes, it could cause permanent damage to your lungs...or so I was told. Well, dear Margalit, I believe you are thunderous, but you should listen to Mr Mar's, my son's and my allergic sneezes! we have echo to prove it! Here via Michele's this time.

18/3/06 2:44 PM  
Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

I've got a pretty loud sneeze myself, Margalit, so this made me LOL! I'm sure it is healthier to reakky let it out as opposed to hilding it in, like everything else, huh? (lol) I can picture your Worthless Pet jumping!!! Great Image!


Here from Michele today.

18/3/06 2:55 PM  
Blogger Goofy Girl said...

I am a big sneezer too, I usually hold my nose so that I don't sneeze up on everything! Then I make a strange noise with my mouth instead of the Achhooo!!

Hope this isnt too bad of an allergy season for you!

18/3/06 2:58 PM  
Blogger Goofy Girl said...

Opps forgot to add that michele sent me!!!

18/3/06 2:58 PM  
Blogger Carmi said...

I'm a holder-inner, and I know that someday that's going to result in some major damage.

Lately, I've been learning to let go a little, even if it brings me unwanted attention at work.

I hate allergies!

18/3/06 3:07 PM  
Blogger Suzanne said...

*laughs at weapon of mass destruction* Yes I sneeze alot this time of year too! The flowers are beautiful, but the nose is always itching!!!
hi from Michele's

18/3/06 4:20 PM  
Blogger Christine said...

Hi there -- saw your comment on 30 Days of DO and came over. Like your blog. I too have horrendous allergies, which I've had for more than 20 years. Anyway, liking the blog. Come visit me!

PS Sorry you had a troll. I had one too!

18/3/06 8:02 PM  
Blogger mommyof4 said...

Lmao! My daughter tries to hold her sneezes in I am always telling herto let the damn thing out because thats what it wants!

18/3/06 8:42 PM  
Blogger Goodbye Mes Amis said...

Does this mean you are still mad?

Funny, I just started sneezing today and my throat was itchy and I thought... uh oh... Spring is upon us.

My dad is the loudest sneezer ever. He usually stomps on the floor at the same time.

I let loose, and like it when I don't have to cover my mouth, but I'm not extraordinarily loud.

18/3/06 11:02 PM  
Blogger torontopearl said...

A Pearl by any other name is a Margalit...or a Penina!
(Am visiting by way of Danny Miller)

My sneezing pattern:
1. I generally sneeze 5 times in succession
2. I'm ALWAYS asked: Was that a sneeze or a cough? (is THAT why people don't bless me as often as they should?)

Pearl

19/3/06 2:08 AM  
Blogger Thumper said...

As a lobrary rat, I'd rather hear your thundering sneeze than the goop filled coughing of the kid who's manhandling the computer...cause he's coughing into his hand and then smearing his cooties all over the mouse and keyboard. Thunder Sneezers tend to cover and minimize the sharing of the ick.

Besides, it would be kinda funny to watch books fall off the racks... ;)

Here via Michele's this morning!

19/3/06 2:46 PM  
Blogger jennypenny said...

Lol i can't help my girly little snnezes! I wanna let a good one out but i just can't seem to do it and i am not trying to hold them in. i get made fun of all the time for that. here from micheles today

19/3/06 2:53 PM  
Blogger Courtney said...

Germ warfare. That's funny. I'm sneezing more and more these days, although, I think I've caught my nephew's cold.

19/3/06 2:56 PM  
Blogger Belinda said...

"The very beginning of allergy season?"

Ha HAHAHAAAAAAA!

I've had so much fluid built up behind my eardrums, that they are bulging outward, according to the doc, for over a month now.

Yes, we are green and pretty. Yes, we bloom early. And yes, we are the CDC's #1 "Most Allergic" place to live in the U.S. Whheeeee!

19/3/06 5:49 PM  

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