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Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Monday, May 01, 2006

My baby girl is feeling poorly

The Girl has had a rough couple of months, healthwise. She just can't seen to shake off illnesses like she has before. I'm kind of worried about her, wondering if she's anemic or has something bigger wrong with her. She's got a doctor's appt. at a specialist coming up next week, but in the meantime I'm gonna worry. It's what I do best. It's my job, my expertise, my hobby. I spend a lot of my time thinking about the what ifs. I honestly can't help it, I just see a lot of worst case scenarios played out in our real lives and I worry that ever crick and pain could mean something scarily serious. I know it's silly to be such a worry wart, and I try hard not to make things that are probably normal into an instant tragedy. It's hard. I'm Jewish. I worry. It's my heritage.

I feel so badly for my kids when they're not well. They're too big to cuddle up into my lap, but they try hard as they can to fit onto me. I end up with 130 lbs of feverish child hanging all over me, and I wish so that they could just shrink back to when they were 4 and fit so perfectly in my lap. She lay on the sofa moaning quietly and watching a movie this afternoon, just like when she was little. At dinner she was so wiped she just sat there staring at her plain chicken breast and sweet potatos. I had to feed her to get her to eat something. It was pathetic, but she's not faking. She's all sweaty and shakey, poor bubulah.

She fell in PE today and hurt her wrist, to complicate matters, and came home wearing an ace bandage. Now, to be truthful, the child loves an ace bandage. I don't know what she sees in them, but she just loves to wear one, especially on a wrist. Was she really hurt badly? I think not, but I'm not going to burst her bandage bubble. She took it off later in the evening, when she got too hot to wear it.

Her head hurts, she's nauseated, she's slightly feverish, and she's dizzy. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

Oh, and this is the child that refuses to take any medication ever. Some things never change.
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