Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Saturday, May 13, 2006

The obligatory Mother's Day Post

I'm not big on Mother's Day. Or any of the other Hallmark Holidays for that matter. Because I don't have a mother that I want to honor with a gift or a card, I sort of grew apart from the celebratory part of Mother's Day. Now that I'm a mother, my kids do want to celebrate, but we don't do all the hoopla that some other families do. We don't go out ot eat. We don't get flowers delivered. Some of us don't even get a present for me, not that I'm naming names or anything.

Mother's Day, to me, seems like a silly holiday. Mothers should be honored everyday for the invaluable job they do. They don't need one 'special day' where they're respected, they deserve that respect every day. Mothers work harder, take more crap, and are less rewarded than any other profession I can think of. Most days, being a mother is plain hard work. You're part social worker, part maid, part social director, part psychologist, part chef, part laundress, part fashion consultant, part hairdresser, and full time comforter of little beings. You take care of the house, the kids, the pets, the bills, the various errands, and for the most part you do it uncomplaining. It's part of being a mom. A job I certainly signed up for, knowing, or at least thinking I knew, how hard it was going to be.

Like most of us moms, I was clueless as to the draining nature of mothering. Not so much the being on call 24/7, but the constant solving of issues regarding your kids childcare, schools, camps, and dealing with rules and regulations and deadlines that often seem ridiculous and arbitrary. For me, that's the hardest part of parenting. I'm not so organized, I guess.

There is the fact that your identity is kinda swallowed when you become a mom. From (insert your name here) to (insert your child's name here)' s Mom. Like you faded into the background because your identity is solely that of a mom. I think for a while there, I forgot what my name was, because I was constantly introduced as The Boy/Girl's Mom. Now I'm at peace with this, and of course my kids are older so they introduce me themselves using my real name. Such an honor to be found again.

I love being a mom. There isn't a day that goes by that I'm not astounded by what gorgeous kids I have. I look at them in wonder, questioning how I could possibly have hit the jackpot with these two nutcases. They're funny, and smart as whips, and they are loving and gentle and inherenetly kind (although not to each other at times). Yeah, they are bad and do incredibly stupid things sometimes, but that's the nature of being a kid. I love being able to guide them towards better choices, and to watch the light dawn that maybe there is a better way to behave. I love having them question my opinion on things, and to form their own ideas about tough issues. I'm unbelievably thankful that I have these kids, nutty as they are, and as difficult as they are to parent. I believe that they're lucky to have me, too. I'm a lot more understanding of their foibles, and a lot less psychotic when they make really bad choices than most parents would be.

But with all that said, celebrating me for a day seems kinda stupid to me. My kids celebrate me on many days. I'd so much rather get a handful of lilacs from our bush just because than a present they spent money on because it's almost a requirement. I'm much more touched by their efforts when it comes from the heart, as their little gifts to me often do. The Boy bringing home another honor roll card means so much more to me than a "World's Best Mom" mug ever would.

I go along with Mother's Day because inherently I'm not a Scrooge, but I still think it's silly. I just hope someone makes pancakes for my breakfast tomorrow. Hint hint.

Make your own Supermom card here.

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Blogger Shane said...

Happy Mother's Day. Let's hope they heat the syrup too

13/5/06 10:21 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

Margalit, you are a rare mother, indeed! Your unique viewpoint makes me think again about Mother's Day and what it means or doesn't mean. I guess I think of it as a reminder to honor my mother and mother-in-law...and hope that my kids will do the same.

Thanks for stopping by earlier today and I'd like to hear more about how you became a professional blogger!

Here via Michele's and I'm always glad that I stopped by. Have a GREAT Mother's Day!

13/5/06 10:25 PM  
Blogger utenzi said...

Michele sent me, Margalit.

I think having an "official" Mother's Day is a fine idea. It allows the feelings that are often beneath the surface to blossom--even if only for a day. I think it has a lot more meaning once the kids leave the nest tho--and you're not at that stage yet. You'll see!

13/5/06 10:26 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Hope the pancakes are wonderful.

Michele sent me.

13/5/06 10:45 PM  
Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Well, wether you like it or not, Margalitt..this is your Special Day! (lol) So, get over yourself...ENJOY IT ALL, even if you think it's silly. What the hell..why not?

I saw that funny video on Chatty's blog and thought it was hilarious!
Great choice for this oh so "special Day"! (lol)
Happy Mother's Day To You, My Dear!

Michele sent me tonight!

13/5/06 11:10 PM  
Blogger David said...


13/5/06 11:14 PM  
Blogger Thumper said...

I'm with you...I'm not the biggest fan of Mother's Day and refuse to go near a restaurant tomorrow. I don't ned a gift. but Monday...Monday they'd better take me out for dinner ;)

13/5/06 11:27 PM  
Blogger Thumper said...

Oops...here via Michele's this time. I forgot to say that...

13/5/06 11:27 PM  
Blogger Dak-Ind said...

greetings from michele.

happy mothers day, today and every day.

14/5/06 3:06 AM  
Blogger Im Chele In LA said...

So there you go..
Over form the other michele's

20/5/06 6:15 PM  

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