Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Friday, June 02, 2006

The friend is back in town

Our friend, who had to leave for a couple of months, returned yesterday. This afternoon she came to visit and stayed well past dinnertime talking and catching us up on the latest news. It was so great to have her back. She's a wonderful person, very smart and forthcoming and we've missed her so much.

It seems like things are just falling into place all of a sudden, which is, for our family, quite unusual. For use, things are usually difficult and don't roll smoothly at all. I guess I've learned to expect the unexpected from the few years of adversity we've experienced, but this turn of events is a pleasant diversion. It certainly is different. Both kids are doing well in school, and will end the year successfully without me worried about the upcoming year. We've got great plans in place and we're so looking forward to both kids in high school at long last.

High school. It seems almost impossible for me to deal with this. It's the first transition that I've really been caught short over. The Boy has been there this year already, and he's had the best experience of his school career. For some reason it's much easier for me that he went off to high school than it is for me to imagine the Girl there next year. She looks like she belongs there already. And she's more than prepared mentally for the challange. Emotionally I think she'll be so much more successful without the middle school angst, and with teachers that aren't certifiable. But she's my baby girl and the thought of her in high school with all those older 'men' just blows my mind.

She's proven over the last couple of months that she can handle herself admirably with social situations that can be hurtful. She's broken up with her boyfriend and expressed herself as to why, and what she expected from him after the breakup. She's talked to adults, including me, when things are bothering her, or are confusing socially. She's gotten much less gullible and has learned to say "No" when she has to. These are examples of huge emotional growth for her. I'm incredibly proud of the young woman she's growing to be, even though she can be such a complete PITA when she becomes moody. But she's trustworthy, and that's really a new phenomenon for her. She's honest. And she's a caring friend.

What strikes me is that even though it's assumed that my kids are nuts because my way of parenting might seem questionable to people who either don't have kids, or only have young kids. I've had more than my share of parental criticism over the years, but I believe that growing a social child is just as important as an academically inclined child. I wasn't sure of what would happen, but I knew that I instilled manners and morals into my kids, and both of those things are extremely important to me and to society as a whole.

All that hard parenting work seems to be coming to fruition as my kids change and grow into adulthood. They are still teenagers and they still fight like cats and dogs with each other, but they're good solid people. People I'd want as friends, people I can respect, people I really like. They might have silly hair and wear clothing I don't particularly love, but they're confident and secure in who they are and what they like. They're really good people, my kids. If only they would stop bickering.
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Blogger Shane said...

sounds to me like you are a very skilled parent. congratulations - we could use more versions of you in the world

3/6/06 2:34 PM  

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