Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Monday, September 25, 2006

Large iced coffee...cream and no sugar

See the title? Large iced coffee, cream and NO sugar. That's pretty clear, right? I mean, I order it at least a few times a week at the same Dunkin Donuts on Needham St. It's always the exact same order.

Large. Iced. Coffee. Cream. And. No. Sugar.

This is not rocket science. It is a large cup of ice with coffee and cream, hold the sugar. It is not a demanding "I want a skinny soy pumpkin Venti latte with 3 shots, no whip..." That might be hard to remember, especially if your English skills are limited to almost nothing. But an iced coffee large with cream and no sugar. If your job is to make coffee all day long. You should be able to make this, right?

Well... it's not quite that simple, evidentally. Every frigging time I go into my local Dunks, they get the order wrong. Sometimes I get hot coffee with no cream and sugar. Or maybe an iced coffee with cream AND sugar. Or a small iced latte with sugar. Or a Mocha Latte. You never know. Because what you order and what you get have absolutely no relationship to each other.

I used to think it might be because I talk fast, so I slowed my order way down. "I'd...like...a...large...iced...coffee...with...cream....and...NO...sugar...please."

Well, that was a pipe dream. I still got various coffee drinks, but not what I ordered.

Today I asked for my usual, a large iced coffee with cream and NO sugar. I got the large. I got iced coffee. I got cream. And I got sugar.

I'm a diabetic. I really don't want sugar. But they can't seem to understand this. I don't ask for regular, and I emphasize NO sugar. Really I do. But I get sugar all the time.

I used to return the drinks and ask for it to be made correctly, but I gave up on that right quick. Because they would just screw up the next one, and then the one after that, and eventually I'd end up with a hot coffee because I just gave up.

We have another Dunks close by, in the Highlands, but that one has a creepy clientele, so I try not to go there. However, the Needham St one happens to be right next door to Newbury Comics and since the Boy thinks that he should live there instead of our home, we tend to spend a lot of time there. They sell baseball cards, you know.

There is no manager to complain to at Dunks. Or, if there is, s/he sure isn't in plain sight.

The thing is, I like that Dunks. It's kinda a joke now, the "Guess what drink Mommy is going to end up with today" game. But geesh, someone give these poor people some English lessons. They really need to understand simple orders in order to do their jobs.
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Blogger Tracy said...

This is a post straight outta my life...lol. My HTB is a D&D addict...Medium iced coffee, cream two sweet'n'lo's. (he is also diabetic) They never get it right...

"cream and three sugars?"
"milk and two equals?"

I have seen HTB get a "bad" coffee, throw it out(you must never ask them to fix your coffee esp. @ a Dunkys you visit regularly bcs. then you pi$$ them off and they PURPOSELY muck it up), then drive onto the next one to try again....(we have 3 or 4 of them within a 10 mile radius...lol)

25/9/06 6:34 AM  
Blogger Lyss said...

I ordered a toasted bagel, cream cheese On The Side last week and they screwed it up. I arrived at work to a bagel sokaing in nasty, warm cream cheese.
How much more simple does it get? I emailed the compnay and complained (since I have a sprained ankle and going back there for another bagel was not going to happen). I was very specific and clear about the problem. They sent me some coupons.

25/9/06 9:43 AM  
Blogger Jod{i} said...

Oh I feel this, I have written a few entries on this myself...
I lost it when they asked me if I wanted my coffee hot once...

25/9/06 11:15 AM  
Blogger clickmom said...

Try saying "Large iced coffe with cream" DO NOT SAY THE WORD SUGAR. It just seems to me that if you say the word SUGAR it is them implanted in the coffee makers brain and they will NEED to give you sugar. Try it, leave the whole word out. Good luck.

25/9/06 10:18 PM  
Blogger Mom / Ma'am / Me said...

I'm with clickmom -- I think the key is not mentioning the sugar at all, just ordering a large iced coffee with cream.

That said, my strategy at some of the more complex coffeeshops (like Starbucks, which I'll hit only if there's no Dunkin or Caribou Coffee around) is to order a simple drink so I don't have to try to get their bizarre ordering conventions right. ;-)

26/9/06 4:50 PM  
Blogger CJ A said...

i must be one of the lucky ones.
i order at gove. center all the time and they remember! im always impressed there. they remember all the regulars in line and have it ready by the time your ready to pay.

29/4/09 8:44 AM  

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