Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Maybe I'm related to Marie Antoinette?

Although I have much more of a sweet tooth than I care to admit to my physicians, we don't keep a lot of sweets in the house. When my kids want candy, I have them buy stuff I hate, like Swedish Fish and KitKats so I won't be tempted at all. It usually works well, but there are those days when I have such a hankering for something sweet I can barely think about anything else. Why are sweets so damn addictive? Why can't I learn how to wean myself off of them for good? Why do I need to have sweets sometimes, and other times I can wave them away (not that I do, but I could if I wanted to.)

Tonight I had such a frigging jones for cake. I just wanted pound cake. Chocolate marble pound cake. No frosting. Just nice, heavy pound cake. You know, a pound of butter, a pound of sugar, a pound of flour, and maybe 10 pounds of pure fat on you butt pound cake. Unfortunately, I have not been to the grocery store in 3 weeks, and we are low on food. Low would be putting it mildly. We're kinda outta some food, and we have plenty of other food. Milk? Gone. Eggs? Gone. Butter... not enough for a pound cake but enough for toast. If we had bread, but we don't because the bread machine fried and I can't really get into store bought bread. Except for Iggy's and I can't afford to eat onion foccacia every day. Nor can my butt. I need a new bread machine.

The thing is, I was too damn lazy to make a cake, even with a mix. Because I'm perpetually tired these days. Plus, I do have children that can follow simple directions on a box most of the time. They can help bake a cake. I make dinner, they can bake, right?

Wrong. They would not bake me a cake. Not the meyer lemon cake mix, not the chocolate cake, not even scones or muffins. Because they hate me, and also because they are lazier than I am. What does a household do when everyone is so lazy that we just hope someone will ring the doorbell with a cake. That could happen. Really it could!

Even when I bloop and pretend to cry, they will not bake me a cake. They are mean children and I no longer like them. I ask for so little... the garbage taken out once a week and the cans returned to the yard. Dishes washed nightly. Replace the toilet paper roll (like that's EVER happened) and put the seat down on the toilet. Clean your room at least once a quarter. Help me fix the garbage disposal when it breaks down (daily event) and of course, laundry. Is that too much? Am I too demanding to expect two 14 year old kids to do simple chores?

Then why will they not make me a cake? Am I not deserving of cake? I think I am. All I want is cake. Or cupcakes. Or even scones or muffins. A baked good. A danish. Something sweet.

Tomorrow, when I pick up our prescriptions at the dreaded Walgreens of Hell, I will buy myself M&Ms and I will not share them. They are going to be MINE. All mine. Heh Heh Heh.
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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cake is always good.

Blogmad hit!

27/9/06 11:31 AM  
Blogger barbie2be said...

ungrateful little wretches! everyone deserves cake!

27/9/06 11:36 AM  

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