Using both ears at the same time

For the first time in years, both of my children attend the same school and get home at the same time. This is a new experience for all of us. Unlike most teens that come home and mutter under their breath and shrug when asked a question, both of my kids like to talk... a lot. Nonstop. It used to be that the Boy would come home first, and have a full 45 minutes to fill me in on what the moron kid in his math class did today, and what the stupid teacher said, and who walked into a door in the cafeteria. You know, all the reportage you want when you're asked the question "How was school today?"

Then the Girl would saunter in and start up on her very long, convoluted, involved ramblings about who did what to whom, what stupid teacher screwed up her assignments, who was wearing what ugly outfit, and who fell down the stairs today. The Boy, having wound down, was usually able to listen to her and laugh at her stories without interruping her.

Now? It's insanity. They both come home and start in at top volume on who saw whom in the hallway, who was eating lunch alone, who fell down (for some reason the fall-down report is a constant with both of them), and what stupid teacher did what. There's always a stupid teacher report. I look forward to those!

So I've got Ms Shrill yelling in one ear about her exploits, and Mr Negative spouting off in the other ear about how everyone is a jackass and how school sucks, and I sit in my chair watching my eyes whirl around in concentric circles as my brain shrinks inwardly. Oy Vey, these children are LOUD.

It will get better, but the arguments. The constant correcting each other. The criticizing. I. Do. Not. Like. This. Sam. I. Am.

This could actually be a reality on TV. Mom goes insane trying to parse sentences of two loud teens at same time.

I'm thinking earplugs. Nice big yellow foamy earplugs.

Oh, and they both have a lot of homework this weekend. Heh!

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