Internets, could you please stop?
I don't want to hear anymore about you hacking up a lung. I want to hear about your sex lives, your fights with your husbands and wives, and your political discontent. I want to know what you're doing with your lives beyond moaning from your sickbed about how you're dying....
Buck up, internets. It's just a cold. I'm sorry you feel so sucky, but geesh, head on over to your local CVS or Walgreens and peruse the cold and flu aisle. There are a plethora of bad tasting elixers on the market to make you feel better. Take them. Please.
Oh, and don't send your children to school when they are sick. Keep them home. I don't care if you're using up all your sick time on your own diseased body. Complain to HR that you're not able to survive on only 5 sick days per year. That's inhumane anyhow. By keeping your sick and infectious children home, they don't infect other innocent children, like mine. But it's too late, because you did send your sick infectious kids to school and now my kids have colds. So thanks, but no thanks.
And the 16 sneezes in a row I suffered through earlier? If that turns into a cold, you haven't even begun to hear moaning, I promise you. So cover your mouth when you cough up that lung, and keep your snot in the kleenix and not on your sleeve. I need to remain healthy and it's your job to ensure that I continue to be cold and flu free. It's all on your backs, internets. Do not fail me. Stumble It! JBlog Me