Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Saturday, February 17, 2007

In a phunque, but still chic

I'm in a pissy place today. I could say there is not any particular reason, but there are. I just don't want to share them. But today... I can say that some people totally and completely suck. They know who they are. People know when they have said or done something that is despicable, but they do it because it's the cool thing to do. I'm kind of tired of it. I especially am tired of a certain person who likes to play stupid and pretend he doesn't understand what I'm saying, when in fact he's just too freaking lazy to do anything to make it right. The man is an asshat and I'm not the first or the last to be pissed beyond belief at him.

I'm also pissy at the ice. I'm tired of the ice. It melts during the day and freezes solid at night. It will not melt. My back stairs are dangerous. They have no railing, and there is nothing to hold onto when they have inches of ice on them. I sprinkle the ice melt stuff, and it makes little holes in the ice, but they just fill up again with a bit of melt, and remain sheer ice.

Once I get down the steps, all 3 of them, sprinkling the ice melt as I go for some traction, I get to the walkway. I've seen hockey rinks that are rougher on the surface than my walkway. It is smooth. Icy and sleek. Dark black ice inches thick. I take a step, sprinkle, take another step, sprinkle, rinse and repeat. When I finally get to the driveway, it is as if the ocean threw up icebergs. When the plow came, it left big chunks of snow that are now small boulders of ice. I move slowly to get to the car door, which is frozen shut. But I have that spray stuff, and get the door open.

Getting into the car requires serious gymnastics for there are boulders right by the door, and they are slippery. I put one butt cheek on the seat, and the foot on the ice slides dangerously, but I grab the steering wheel and don't fall on the ice. The car starts right up, for she is 14 years old and as reliable as can be. I slowly rock her back and forth. She is glued into the ice and needs encouragement to move.

Finally the big crunch as she is released from the driveway, and I start to back up, crackling and crunching my way down from my spot to the front of the barn. It is slow going and there are many loud cracks every inch.

Once I get the car out I realize that there is nothing I can do to make the spot easier to navigate, so I pull the car back up, but straddle the biggest pile of icebergs and end up in a huge pile of slushy ice. Lovely.

The driveway is still icy but has been salted and sanded so it is now passable. The Boy, accompanying me on my journey to the driveway, discovers that he can slide all the way across the back lawn. Where was he yesterday when I was touting the homemade luge?

Back inside, I took a nap and prayed that it will warm up enough this weekend to at least get out of the house. The kids are on school holiday and will be stir crazy if they do not get out. The Girl is already sleeping at a friends house. I expect she will appear a few times during the week, but will mostly be with friends. The Boy, on the other hand, is full of plans for watching movies and more movies, all whilst wearing his pajama pants and bathrobe. It's like living with a poor Hugh Hefner with all that flannel.

It is my father's yartzheit this shabbas and that always is a downer. I lit the candle and said Kaddish, but it seems so empty. I do it because it's the right thing to do, but there is no love behind it. I am an emotional orphan. I do not miss my father at all. I never really new him as an adult, nor did he know me. I cried more when Mr Rodgers died than I did for my father.

But I light the candle because it's expected and I am trying to teach my kids not to hold onto grudges long term. To learn to forgive. To look beyond the mean and accept the person for who he was. I'm not great at it, but I try. I just wish some of the people that are annoying me these days could learn this lesson themselves.

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Blogger rhea_becker said...

The ice is killing me, too.

17/2/07 8:52 AM  
Blogger Azgreeneyes said...

My biggest, biggest sympathies on the ice and your battle with it. We have turned down promotions because it would involve moving back to areas that would involve ice and snow!

Here via Michele's!

17/2/07 1:23 PM  
Blogger IzzyMom said...

I hope the ice melts for good and things get better :)

17/2/07 2:33 PM  

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