Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Thursday, April 12, 2007

Dizzy from lack of sleep blogging (Updated)

So many of you talk about drunk blogging, but as a pretty much non-drinking blogger, I haven't had the fun experience of trying to blog while under the influence. Because I haven't really been under the influence since I was about 26. Which was long before dinosaurs roamed the earth.

However, I am absolutely dizzy from exhaustion and just trying to forumlate a sentence is difficult. Because we're having a very serious family crisis there on the hill, and I haven't been able to sleep at all for a couple of days. I'm fine, just almost unable to form a coherent thought right now.

So here's the deal. The Boy is feeling very down and suicidal. So much so that he asked to go to the hospital. He's never done that before, but this is a huge, monumental step in the right direction, and I'm very proud of him. But that doesn't change the fact that he's in a very depressive time and he needs to be safe and he doesn't feel that he can be safe at home. Hence my complete lack of sleep. I've been watching him 24/7 until we find him a bed in an adolescent psych unit. Sounds fairly easy, but it is not. It is a complicated ballet of talking and forms and waiting and hoping.

Today we spent hours and hours in the ER of our local hospital, which was step two. Step one was to meet with his therapist and the psych director of his school program to create a plan. Actually THAT was step two. Step one was really all the phone calls I had to make starting at 1:30 am and continuing nonstop until the meeting.

Once we had the meeting we booked it over to the hospital and sat and waited for an hour or so until he was triaged, and put into a room. A room where he still sits, waiting. I had to leave because the Girl needs attention and let's face it, I gotta get some sleep before I fall over dead.

So he's in his little room in the pediatric ER at our hospital waiting. We've talked to the insurance people who decide what they'll pay for, the hospital social worker and the psychiatrist on call. We've met with a bunch of nurses and triage people and even a security person. We've been asked the same questions a bazillion times. The Boy is hanging in there, although the psych forgot to order his afternoon meds and it's now way too late for that. Great.

He's eventually going to get a bed someplace and we'll spend way too much time dealing with more forms and more meetings and more therapy, but he'll be safe, and that's what he wanted.

So that's the plan, and right now all I want to do is cry a river and have someone tell me it's gonna be OK.

Update: I am linking this as an entry into the MommyBloggers contest for tickets to Blogher this year.

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Blogger craziequeen said...

[hugs] hey there Margalit, everything is gonna be ok.

OK, so it was a complicated job getting Boy organised, but he made the first move (BIG step forward) and identified his problem and what he needed to help out.

Now he is being cared for, you can make sure you get some sleep :-)


12/4/07 9:45 PM  
Blogger Eleanor said...

As someone with a soft spot for wicked smart men who break emotional norms (brother and boyfriend, though not facing the extent of the difficulties of your son), I just had to delurk to say that I'll be thinking of all three of you and wishing you well.


12/4/07 10:53 PM  
Blogger Malady said...

I'm so sorry. I know from personal experience how hard all of that can be. We'll be thinking of you..

13/4/07 11:00 AM  
Blogger David said...

i will pray for you and your boy

14/4/07 5:27 PM  

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