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Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Sunday, April 22, 2007

The dreaded sleepover saga

Last night, after we got home from the hospital and the mall and a bunch of fun stuff, the Girl asked at 10:30 pm if she could go over to her friend's house to sleep over. I couldn't believe it. Of course I said "no" and she totally lost it. This is such an unusual event that I've been pondering it for over 24 hours and I'm still not sure what the hell happened. It was honestly the most bizarre behavior I've seen from her in years.

She's not a sobby kind of kid. She usually yells back and she's got quite the potty mouth when she gets going, something that I'm not all that proud to say she gets from me. But she didn't do any of that last night. She burst into tears and cried and cried and just wouldn't accept that you don't go to people's houses at 10:30 at night for a sleepover. You just don't.

Plus, she's stayed over this house a bazillion times, and spends most of her awake hours there as well. It's almost as if she thinks she lives there. Lately, I've been sort of uncomfortable about the amount of time she spends there, and also question the veracity of some of the things she tells me. Or more correctly, they both tell me. You see, BFF supposidly isn't allowed to go over to other people's houses. We've known her for years and she's been here twice. TWICE. This makes me very uncomfortable. For the first time, I've been questioning why she won't come over, and I cannot get a straight answer.

Tonight the begging started up again, and I set a rule. There is no way I'm going to let the Girl sleep over this house again until I speak to the Dad to find out why his daughter isn't allowed over other people's houses. I know she's not. I've heard it from other parents and other kids. I think it's weird. I want to know why. I've gotten a lot of BS from both girls, but nothing that makes any sense. Plus BFF is very worried about my speaking to her Dad. I've talked to him before. He's reasonable and strict and I trust him. But something fishy is going on.

So anyhow, the Girl spent the entire day at their house. She was supposed to be home at 5, and at 6 called and I told her to get her butt home toot sweet. She wasn't happy. Tough. She's home for an hour or two and starts begging to sleep over BFF's house. I say no way. She's got BFF on the phone because the girl calls us every freaking hour on the hour all day long. She drives me nuts.

I speak to the BFF and tell her that this new rule is, I need to speak to her Dad. She's nervous. She asks why a million times. I explain it, but she's unhappy. She BEGS me not to tell her dad something I know she did, that I've already chastised her for. I promise her I won't. I've told her I won't about a million times, and I haven't. I've promised the Girl I won't. She knows I won't. But BFF is worried. Teen angst and all that.

Once the Girl realizes that I'm serious and I won't back down, she calls another friend and wants to sleep over there. I say no to that too. So she arranges, with my permission, that friend2 will sleep here. Ok by me. Friend2 tells me that she isn't allowed to hang out with BFF, which she does all the time, because BFF isn't allowed over her house either. It's creepy. Plus now I know that Friend2 is also lying to her parents about where she's hanging out, since she comes to our house and the two of them hightail it over to BFF's house.

Something is very rotten in Denmark.

I'm so glad school is about to start up on Monday. I'm not sure that it's such a great idea that every public school in Massachusetts is off at the same time. I sort of which they would stagger the vacation times so you can keep better track of your teens.

The Boy should be home in a couple of days. He's doing well, they're just working on the med changes which should be completed early in the week. I can't wait, although I must admit, it's been incredibly peaceful with only one kid around. Most of the time.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Jill said...

Im so glad to hear that The Boy is doing better and that he will be home soon. I cannot imagine how hard this has been for you. (I have been following your story, but have been unable to comment anywhere until today. Hopefully this goes through!)

What a weird situation with BFF. I have the exact opposite situation with my daughter's BFF! She is always here, which doesn't bother me in the least. I love her like one of my own. She is NEVER allowed to have anyone spend the night at her house, though. It's a little weird, but what can I say? LOL.

Your situation is different, though, and more than a little questionable. I think you are doing the right thing by talking to her father. I am anxious to hear what he has to say about that, as well.

22/4/07 11:02 AM  
Blogger Kelly said...

Tears? Sounds to me like there might be a boy involved. As in she's sneaking out to see one. Me and my friends used to do that all the time. And lie to our parents about where we were going/staying.

Also, the BFF's parents might not let her stay at others' houses because of something that happened to one of them (or someone they know) when they were children.

Just suggestions based on my experiences.

24/4/07 1:42 PM  

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