Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Saturday, April 14, 2007

Uncomfortably numb

I am not retaining information. I am on robotic performance. I do what I need to, but mostly I sit and stare and realize that control is out the window, that my brain is not functioning properly, that I am tired beyond belief and can't make sense out of anything. My house looks like a cyclone struck it. I haven't taken down the passover stuff yet and turned the kitchen back over. There is nothing to eat in my house. I feel abandoned. The Girl is all sulky because she's made tons of plans, none of which cleared by me, and there's so much to do.

So I decided I'd try a little retail therapy to make myself a bit less unsettled. On the way to visit the Boy today I stopped at the Christmas Tree Shop. This is probably not a well known fact about me, but when I'm down low I want to do my retail therapy in a store that carries not only great bargains, but has adorable merchandise for a fraction of the retail price. Nothing makes me feel happier than scoring something at the Christmas Tree Shop, because I know it's not going to kill my meagre budget, it's going to look great in my house, and I'm going to love it.

What did I get?

A toile lampshade made by Waverly marked down from 36.99 to $4.99. Plus it matches some curtains we have exactly.

A set of three nesting bowls in black with white polka dots for $2.99.

A large roll of nursery grade weed barrier for the veggie garden for $4.99.

15 pink gladiola bulbs and 15 claret colored gladiola bulbs, each $2.99.

1 bag of Utz CrabBoil potato chips for $1

1 box Breton crackers for $1

1 Adidas sports bag for the Girl, usually $39.99 for $9.99

I large chocolate bar (german) for $1

All that for $30. I love that store. And now I feel a bit more human. Still feel a bit numb, but I'm coming back to life.

The Boy is great. His sense of humor is back, he looks really relaxed, the color is back in his pretty pink and white complexion, and his eyes look really clear. He's making requests for stuff from home, so I know that he's able to think outside of his situation.

I miss him a lot. I miss the Girl too when she's gone. It's too quiet here. Worthless Pet just doesn't cut it. But at least we have donuts. Call me Homer.

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Blogger Carmi said...

Homer did say, after all, that there's nothing donuts can't do (Monorail episode, after Bart lassooed the donut place sign, if memory serves.)

I'm so glad to hear that things are heading in the right direction. I was in shul this morning, and I said a little prayer for him and for you. The dishes and the house can wait: sounds like the real important stuff is already taken care of.

(Why can't we have stores like that in the Great White North? Damn Canadian communists!)

14/4/07 4:20 PM  
Blogger dakotablueeyes said...

wow you found some awesome deals.

14/4/07 4:25 PM  
Blogger The Mistress of the Dark said...

Wow those were some good bargains. I wish there was somewhere like that in Pittsburgh.

Michele says hi btw :)

14/4/07 8:15 PM  
Blogger Chelle A. said...

I'm so glad your sweet boy is doing better.

I'm saying a little prayer right now for the Lord to guide and protect your son's sweet and tender spirit.


14/4/07 9:05 PM  
Blogger Mr. Althouse said...

OK, Homer it is.

My house is empty right now... and it's a good thing, I guess... sometimes it doesn't feel that way though.

Retail therapy is usually effective for temporary relief, I've found.

Michele sent me,


14/4/07 9:19 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

Oh goody, a new store with bargains, no less! :o)

Michele sent me to say "hi".

14/4/07 9:25 PM  
Blogger kitten said...

I'm glad to hear that things are on the upswing for your family, I've been saying a prayer for you (and all others needing it including myself) several times a day....it seems to keep me on an even keel.

15/4/07 3:23 AM  
Blogger Pearl said...

Retail therapy is calming for me too. :)

15/4/07 7:07 AM  
Blogger Her Majesty said...

I saw your request at Michele's by chance. (didn't post there though.)

Looks like you've been through quite the ordeal here, what with just about every emotion on high up to this point. And it appears you've tackled the necessary obstacles with precision-like mastery. He's lucky to have you.

I remember teenage years as the ones most heavily-doused with psychological doubt. Everyone I knew, including myself, was sure we were hospital-fodder for our crazed mentalities. But knowing more of your specific history, I'm not surprized at the reaction here. I think we (my friends and I) were all more seeking "real attention" than seriously in need of help.

I guess what I'm getting at is how do you determine at this stage of the game that a kid with difficulties such as Your Boy what issues are typical age-related issues versus part of the diagnoses?

Doesn't matter at this point for you - he asked for help, you supplied it and that's what matters most. I'm not doubting or questioning any of that at all. Just curious, overall, on the clarifications of any age-related behaviours that could be tandem with symptoms of issues more severe.

Thanks for the heads-up. I've got one brewing myself you'll want to check out. Give me a day or so though, I'm also still on the major CleanOut. :)

15/4/07 12:42 PM  

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