Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Thursday, April 12, 2007

We have a bed!

It's not at the hospital we were hoping for, but that was a very slim chance at best. But it's a bed and hopefully it will be OK. They're picking him up right now by ambulance and will take him to the hospital. I have to be there bright and early to sign him in.

I spoke to him 3 times this evening and he really seems a bit lost and lonely. But he's OK. A friend went to give him some clean clothes and sat with him for a bit. He let her put her arm around him, so he's really feeling a bit out of his element. He isn't big on the hugs except for me, of course.

I fell asleep for a half hour and then the phone rang. Even that short bit of sleep helped, but I'm going to take an Ambien and make myself sleep tonight.

The Girl talked to the Boy on the phone for a bit tonight. After a couple of weeks of really intense behavior towards each other, that was sweet.

I'm feeling so incredibly sad. I can't really do anything about this but feel sad. I'm doing all the right things to get him help. I know how to do this blindfolded at this point. But I feel helpless and so sad for him. I don't want him to have a life like this. I know how hard it is for him now, and to have this stretching out before him forever and ever is daunting. I hate this beast. I hate it with every fiber of my being.

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Blogger Sechakecha said...

He's getting help, and that's the important thing. He was able to state that he had a problem, and he wanted help. That's a big step.

Maybe, one day as he gets older, it'll be something he can grow out of. It happened to a good friend of mine, and today every now and then, less than once a year, something might trigger a spike, but that spike only lasts a day, and he can control it now.

*hugs* It'll be alright. It'll take some time, but it'll be alright. And we're always here for you to vent to. =) Get some sleep, girl. You need it.

13/4/07 8:27 AM  
Blogger Rhea said...

I am thinking of you and wishing you the best. My sister was diagnosed as bipolar a few months ago and it's tough.

13/4/07 11:39 AM  
Blogger barbie2be said...

hang in there margalit. you are doing everything right.


13/4/07 12:46 PM  
Blogger Carmi said...

"I'm feeling so incredibly sad. I can't really do anything about this but feel sad."

You are doing an amazing job making sure he gets everything that he needs. This is textbook, and I wish all children who went through this had a mom like you.

"But I feel helpless and so sad for him. I don't want him to have a life like this."

He won't, because he's got you. Like any disease, his treatment needed to be tweaked. And you made sure that it was. I can't help but feel that with you there for him, he'll do OK.

Hang in there. We're all praying for you, for him, for your whole family.

13/4/07 3:40 PM  
Blogger Pearl said...

I'm glad you're both on the same side. His deciding he needs support and help and getting the help around is a huge set of steps done.

15/4/07 7:08 AM  

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