Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Thursday, May 10, 2007

Can you muzzle a bird?

We are extremely lucky to live on a large lot of land filled with mature shrubs and trees. We have enough blind areas to attract large numbers of animals like rabbits, squirrels, and racoons. I like wildlife. I like to know I'm sharing my plot with the beings that really belong here. I'm a friend to the animals, a real Mrs Dr Doolittle.

However, I draw the line at birds who are unable to tell time. Birds are supposed to chirp to welcome the sun. They are supposed to keep their frigging beaks shut at night. And they are not supposed to be so loud as to disrupt our sleep.

Yeah. So tell that to the damn birds that live in our rhododendron bushes and start up at 4:30 am, hours before the sun is up. We seem to be the Club Med for wayward birds. They come, they eat our berries and get drunk, and then they party hearty in the middle of the night.

What was slightly annoying when the windows were shut tight has become impossible to live with now that the windows have been flung open. Tra la tra la, they chirp. Oh, not just one or two of the lil' darlins'. No, hundreds. Swarms. Flocks of freaking loudmouthed birds. Teeny tiny birds that look like finches or sparrows. Light brown cuties with voices like Pavoratti and his tenor friends. They are loud.

Last night I was reading when they started up. I turned on my fan to try and drown them out, but white noise was not cutting it. I heard the Girl curse. She was awakened by the sounds of tweeting. Once awake, she cannot fall back asleep. She's exhausted by the birds. But I can't figure out how to get rid of them. Dr Google was little help. If I want to rid our yard of geese, I now know how. But a gaggle of sparrows with a penchant for screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night? Not much to go on there.

Of course, Worthless Pet hears them, pushes open my door, jumps on the bed, and stares out into the black of night. Does he growl or meow? No, because he is Worthless. If we didn't have predatory animals around like coyotes and foxes, I'd let him out at night. But we do, so he stays put.

I never thought I'd pray for a nice big red hawk to come and do some nightime hunting. But I do. I wonder if I could make a hawk kite and remote control it over the bushes?

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Blogger Sechakecha said...

We use to have a plastic owl that we would keep places. Maybe you could try one of those on top of your bushes? You can get it at a place like wal-mart.

Good luck!

11/5/07 7:24 AM  
Blogger jac said...

oh mny goodness. i can SO empathize. i have frequent bouts of insomnia and recently realized that there are birds in the bushes against my front window who wake up the neighborhood birds beginning around 430am. they DO, however, promptly STFU at around 620am. i then manage to sleep.

11/5/07 10:42 PM  

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