Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Saturday, May 05, 2007

Playing the Heavy Mom

I'm not talking weight here, although I could play the heavy mom in that manner. I mean the bitchy, don't fuck with my kid mom. The one that puts the fear of me into the eyes of those around them, just because I want to make sure that I'm totally understood.

Today the Girl had a birthday party to attend. I wasn't thrilled about it because I had gotten so many different stories about the party. They were going to do X. Then Y, and then maybe Z. I don't like it when I don't get a clear story. But I let her go because her BFF is the birthday girl, both Dad and Grandma were supervising, and enough other kids were going that I knew and respected, that I figured it would be fine.

She called me about an hour ago, and there were several different takes on what was going on. First, she told me two friends were coming home with her, one of whom I had never met. Then she told me that Grandma was upstairs and they were downstairs unsupervised. With boys. Then she told me she was outside. With boys. Again with the different takes. I had no clue what was going on and told her that I was upset that she was making up stories and that I had a problem trusting what she said, and what her BFF says, both of whom tend to bend and stretch the truth like any other 14 year old girl does. It's the nature of the game.

The Boy, meanwhile, got a call from a friend who wanted to go see a double feature of Spiderman and Hot Fuzz, and begged me to take him to their meetup, not too far from here. We had already seen Hot Fuzz this afternoon, but I said OK as long as he paid, and he agreed. So I took him to the meetup at CVS, talked to his friend's mom (a whole 'nother post), and drove off.

On the way home, I went within 3 houses of the party, so I decided to do a driveby. The Girl was out front with 2 friends, and I told her that I was there to pick her up and take her home. She was SOOO not happy. She didn't want to go home. I had some words with her, told her clearly that I did not want her in close proximity to her brand new boyfriend, aka The Thug2. Having been through a Thug boyfriend before, and knowing this boy's family and his reputation for being a major stoner, I'm not a happy camper about this new relationship.

So, I play heavy mom. I make her bring the Thug out so I can talk to him. I said she could either go home, or bring him out. She wasn't happy. But she knows full well that I'm not kidding about hanging out with Thugs. We've done this before and it did not turn out well. Not well at all.

So out he came, and I really laid it on thick. She doesn't have a dad to do this, so I had to be a real hardnose. I said, "I heard you're a stoner." He looked stunned and didn't say anything. The Girl was looking pretty embarasssed. I told him, "You will not do that around my daughter. If you do, I will call the police and have you arrested. You will keep your hands to yourself and treat her with respect. You will not touch her. No drugs, no inappropriate behavior. You make one mistake, you're out. I mean it. I will call the police. I've done it before, I will do it again in a heartbeat. Is that clear? Do you understand me? I do not take shit from anyone."

He went really pale. He looked scared. I was happy. I like a scared Thug boyfriend. I want him to understand I will protect my daughter with all of my being. She might not have a dad, but she has one mean mutha of a mom when I need to be. He was barely grunting at me. I think he got the message loud and clear.

The Girl was fine. In a way, she needs this. She has such a hard time saying "no" due to her NVLD, and she is unable to set her own boundries very well. So I set them for her. I wanted him to know that she has a mom that cares, that will protect her, and that will not take shit. I mean it. If she chooses to have a crush on a Thuggy stoner, I can't stop that. But I can keep her safe and I will, at all cost. I just roll that way some times. Call me the Mom from Hell.

But, oh... she's got 4 friends sleeping over tonight. FOUR. And did she ask? No, she did not. So I'm kinda a pushover, too!

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Blogger Daniel said...

Good for you! Well done!

5/5/07 6:30 PM  
Blogger The Mistress of the Dark said...

Way to go! Put the fear of mom into that Thug!

Michele says hi, btw!

5/5/07 6:37 PM  
Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

You give some and you take some...Glad you gave that Thufy one What-For...! Protect those yungins' when you need to...I am sure she is grateful, or will be...!

Here from Michele's this late afternoon.

5/5/07 7:29 PM  

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