Mortality and old age
I know a lot of people freak out when they turn 40, but that birthday didn't bother me at all. My 30's weren't my best years, and my 40's started out with a huge bang, as I was hugely pregnant with my twins. I loved that birthday, and all the subsequent ones through my 40's. I felt as if I had finally reached the "right" age. It was comfortable and easy. I didn't have to pretend to be young and cool, I didn't have to listen to crappy 90's music, I didn't have to wear junior fashions and pretend to be hip. I could be me, 40 year-old style. I liked who I was in my forties.
I didn't mind turning 50 either. It wasn't such a great year. It was the year my heart went a bit wonky. It was the year we moved across the country to be back home with our family and friends after a rather dismal stint in Northern California. It was a tough time educationally for the kids, and emotionally for the Boy. Things were changing fast for us, and I wasn't all that thrilled with all the changes.
In a month I'll be 55. I don't think it's going to be a milestone birthday. I don't feel older, wiser, or more put together. But at least I'm not 61 like my old fart sister. heh.
Later on today, I was on the phone with yet another therapist (not mine) and she was asking a bunch of questions, and one of them was, "Are you going to die?"
Um, yeah, we're ALL gonna die sometime, I answered her. What she meant is to ask if I'm in any imminent danger of dying, and the answer is unknown. I don't think I'm going to die soon, I'm fairly stable when I am careful, don't do too much, stay away from exercise, and eat well. Stress does affect my heart negatively. That's just a fact of life when you have CHF. But no, I'm not planning on kicking the bucket any time soon. But what a weird question! Stumble It! JBlog Me