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Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Pity Party

I haven't had a decent pity party in quite a while. Everything has been going well, despite a few mishaps here and there. But really, things have been fine. Kids are reasonably healthy and happy, I'm doing OK, Worthless Pet is spending his waking hours outside, life is definitely OK. Except...

Tomorrow is my birthday, and once again the whole "my biofamily sucks" issue rears it's ugly head. It is so stupid. I KNOW it's going to be the same year after year. It always is. Nothing ever changes. But it still hurts, and I feel sad and unwanted and unloved...again. I just can't seem to get over that hurdle. I don't know why. I should have accepted it and moved on long ago, but on my birthday I would like some acknowledgement that I exist. Is that so hard?

My kids, well they are teens and I don't expect much from them, nor do they deliver much. They'll argue over making the cake, and then the Boy will eat 3/4 of it and be like "what?" when he's confronted. The world revolves around him, you know. The Girl will complain because the Boy will play stupid and pretend he has no idea of how to do anything in the kitchen, which is patently ridiculous. It will be an uproar and will take every ounce of pleasure out of the actual celebration, as pathetic as it is.

It will be a bazillion degrees outside, as it always is on my birthday. That's the thing about being born in mid-July. It's always to hot to care about anything, nobody is around, and nobody feels like expending an ounce of energy for anyone other than themselves. Heck, I feel the same way. I should understand this by now, but it gets to me. It really does.

Oh, and we're so freaking broke this month. Medicare didn't take any deductions for March through July, and took them all out of my SSDI check at one time. Lovely. So my check was so light that I couldn't even buy toilet paper, and we're out. I had a free coupon for cat food, and that was about it for this month. The kids want to see Harry Potter tomorrow. It's not gonna happen. Thankfully I preordered the book using some Amazon GC's I got for reviewing books for MotherTalk. Phew. This look at our sad financial situation is driving me nuts. NUTS. I'm so sick of it, and last month I made more $$ blogging than I ever have. It's just not enough to cover car repairs

I don't care about presents. I just want the acknowledgement. I'd rather than anyone that feels the need to get me a present would donate to my Blogathon account instead. That's more important to me. Oh, and Red Sox tickets. I'd never say no to those!

I'm going to be 55 tomorrow. That's freaking old. I don't feel that old. The only thing that makes me feel better about my age is knowing my sister, the queen of plastic surgery, is 61. Now that's practically ancient.

I waver between being extremely middle-aged and living like a teenager. I feel lost at times. My generation isn't one of bloggers, and most of my IRL friends are a few years younger than I am. Still not ancient, but where are the boomers who are still interested in things beyond saving for retirement?

I guess I just need to whine. boo hooo hoooooo. Happy birthday to me.

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10 Comments:

Blogger Rhea said...

I'm a baby boomer who is way interested in stuff other than saving for retirement. I just write about that stuff on my baby-boomer blog because a lot of the other baby boomers are into that. We can play together! HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I just turned 49. I'm gonna look into that fund or whatever that you mentioned.

10/7/07 6:49 PM  
Blogger blackbird said...

Happy Damn Birthday.

I'll give you 24 hours to feel sorry for yourself -

wink.

10/7/07 8:01 PM  
Blogger kathy said...

hey, margalit -- HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU TERRIFIC WOMAN!

sending you a big hug, a virtual pizza, a case of the soothing beverage of your choice, kitty treats, and a case of virtual TP.

10/7/07 9:15 PM  
Blogger Dave2 said...

Errr... happy birthday??

:-)

10/7/07 10:23 PM  
Blogger Major Bedhead said...

Happy birthday, Margalit!

If we ever meet up, I'll buy you a frosty beverage of your choice and we can piss and moan about politics.

11/7/07 12:00 AM  
Blogger theotherbear said...

happy birthday.

11/7/07 12:09 AM  
Blogger mrsmogul said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

11/7/07 8:09 AM  
Blogger The Hotfessional said...

Happy Happy Birthday! We love you. Keep your chin up. Enough platitudes?

11/7/07 8:14 AM  
Blogger barbie2be said...

happy birthday, margalit! if i were there i would take you out for dinner to celebrate.

i do know exactly how you feel about the whole bio-fam as i feel the same way. i am always an after-thought with mine. thank goodness for friends.

11/7/07 11:04 AM  
Blogger Sharon said...

Happy birthday (although I've a feeling I'm slightly late).

When you're blogging away for the hospital spare a wish for me who turns 40 on the 29th July.

Sometimes I feel out of place in my world too as all the other mum's at the school gates can barely turn on their pcs and only know what a PSP/360 or whatever is because their kids have them!

11/7/07 3:00 PM  

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