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Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

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Monday, November 05, 2007

I need Kitty advice, please

You know about the Worthless Pet, right? Since the Girl has been gone, WP has been, oh, beyond snuggly and loving towards me. I have no problem with that, it's a nice turn of events and I much enjoy his company. But... he's clawing me to death. I swear it, my body is a mess of little claw marks as he kneads me to a bloody pulp. My arms, my boobs, my shoulders... all filled with little bitty scratches of love. I don't get it. He doesn't do this to the Girl. But me? He seems me and he's got all his claws sharpened like little exacto blades ready to shoot into my fair thin skin.


It hurts.

I don't want to discourage this new burst of lovin'. It's good that he's decided that other people aren't evil. He even sat on the Boy's lap the other night, and he's PETRIFIED of the Boy. He usually high tails it out of the room as soon as the Boy's larger than life presence enters. I don't blame WP at all. The Boy is big and very loud and never shuts up and throws things around. He's scary for big adults, so little kitties are right to be intimidated. But to sit on the Boy's lap? He must be desperate for some serious loving.

I'm not complaining. I like WP and I feel very 'special' that he's chosen me to sit on top of. It's only been years of living with me to decide that I might not be poison after all. But geesh, he's taking out more blood than the Red Cross. Plus, it is so embarrassing to go to the doctor and I'm a mass of little scratches. It looks like I live with a tiger instead of a cat.

So what do I do? I tried clipping his claws. I even invested in a special little cat claw clipper (say that 3 times fast) hoping to clip without getting near the quick. What did I get for my efforts? A huge slash on my forearm and several on my hand. Did I mention that Worthless Pet is vicious when crossed? He bites and scratches like a wild animal. So clipping is out. I know about those soft claw things, but there is no way I could ever get them on his claws. He wouldn't tolerate it at all. I can't afford to take him to the vet to be soft clawed. I checked and it's an outrageous price. What a shock! I've thought about amputating all his feet, but then he would have trouble walking and would sit around all day long bothering me. Of course, the Girl would be upset if he had no feet. She's mad enough at me as it is. I don't need to antagnoize her with cat mutilation.

Internets, help me. I honestly don't know what to do other than to wear protective gear whenever he comes near me. Any suggestions?

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10 Comments:

Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said...

Can you put a big thick blanket down on your lap before the cat sits down on you? Then he would claw at the blanket and not you.

Another idea is to pick up (at a pet store or maybe supermarket) a cardboard pet scratcher---I'm not sure what they are called but they have catnip in them, and he may stand on it and scratch his nails enough to dull them a bit.

Finally, we have a vet who makes house calls down by me. If you can find a 'mobile vet', you could see if they'd come by to do nails (not the cheapest option, but I'm not sure how much you want this done!).

Hope you find something that helps! Those little scratches can still hurt!

5/11/07 9:54 PM  
Anonymous bethany actually said...

I was going to suggest trying a groomer or the vet to get his claws clipped. I clip both my cats' claws, but I've been doing so since I got them so they're used to it.

Sorry, that's the best I can come up with! I like Fairly Odd Mother's suggestions of a blanket or cardboard scratchers, too.

5/11/07 10:03 PM  
Blogger moon said...

Only thing that came to my mind, is one of those Hasmat suits..but I would think it would become cumbersome and certainly far from sexy!!! Sorry hun, I'm at a loss.

5/11/07 11:33 PM  
Blogger Rhiannon said...

I clip my kitty's claws when she's fast asleep. I can usually get through her front two paws and then just wait 20 or so minutes until she's exhausted again to do the back paws. Hope this helps!

6/11/07 10:37 AM  
Blogger Rhiannon said...

I clip my kitty's claws when she's fast asleep. I can usually get through her front two paws and then just wait 20 or so minutes until she's exhausted again to do the back paws. Hope this helps!

6/11/07 10:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I cut my kids nails when they are asleep, so maybe when he's sleeping is a good idea?

6/11/07 12:08 PM  
Blogger daysgoby said...

Does he suddenly turn on you? I mean..you're petting him, he's got that glazed look o'love in his eye, and suddenly his back feet are pedaling and you're being bit and scratched?

If this is it, you may be over-stimulating him or petting some sensitive bits. Many cats are really sensitive along their backbones from about half-way back to the base of their tails. This will make them arch and claw and love-bite.

I had a cat that would get purr mightily, then get excited and bite. (The vet just said he was overcome with love and it was a cat thing.) The telling point with him was right before he'd scratch he'd drool. Just a little bit. You might watch WP for a sign like that.

In an extreme case you can dip your (non-scratched, 'cause that would hurt like hell) hands in lemon juice - kitties are not fond of citrus.

6/11/07 2:05 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Clipping the nails when the cat is sleepy is a good suggestion. I would go one step further. I use SOFTPAWS on my cat and they work great. Just clip the ends off the nails and then fill the SoftPaw tip with glue and slip it over the nail. I usually fill all the tips with glue first and then slip them on as fast as I can. They work really well and stay on for several weeks.

6/11/07 2:54 PM  
Blogger Daisy said...

The mobile vet is a good idea. We take our rabbits to the vet regularly to have their claws clipped. doing it ourselves just never worked. And the scratching post with catnip; those can work, too.

6/11/07 7:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The blanket idea worked for me. My cat even learned to wait patiently for me to lay a blanket across my chest (she's a boob cat) before she could get on. Good luck!

12/11/07 11:39 PM  

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