True Confessions

I have a thing about big heads. I have a rather large noggin myself, but it's in proportion to my body. But there are people out there who have enormous heads. When I see them, I'm kinda repulsed. I don't know why, but big heads bother me. You know that little white dog on the Cesar (sic) dog food commercials? He has a HUGE head and every time I see that little doggy, I get grossed out. And George Stephanopoulos. What is with HIS head. It's about 20 times bigger than it should be. He's so out of proportion he looks ridiculous. Big giant head, tiny little body. In Boston we have a local news reporter that has a big head. But his son, known in our house as "Big Head" has been in the Girl's class since 4th grade. He's a nice kid, now friends with the Boy. But the poor child. Enormo-head.

The Girl has a thing about 'little people'. I know the word midget isn't PC and shouldn't be used. Try telling that to the Girl. She's in love with midgets. I mean, she goes apeshit whenever she sees a little person on TV. In person she needs to be restrained. Since she was little she has said that she 'wants a midget'. She wants to poke them. I know, it's weird. But the child loves midgets. She squeals with joy at the thought of them. I have absolutely no clue what this is about.

Outside my office window are laurel bushes. They attract starlings, who like to jump from branch to branch while making loud chirping noises. Because my window is right the the side of the desk, the starlings are in my peripheral vision and annoy the hell out of me. Sometimes I sit there plotting my revenge. Obviously I have an issue. I don't like being disrupted by birds.

I haven't cooked dinner in days. When it's just dinner for two, I don't really think it's worth the effort. Last night I ate cereal for dinner. I am that lazy.

I abhor Dr Phil. Can't stand to hear his sanctimonious voice. But when did he turn into Texas Jerry Springer? I sort of missed that transition, but when I see the promos for his show, he's doing paternity tests and having screaming fights on stage. Um... how is this "a changing day in my life?" Ugh.

Can't stand Oprah either. You just KNOW she's a Scientologist. I mean, check out her "friends." Um..Travolta, Cruise, Kirsty Alley...all scientologists. And she's so phony ethereal. More like psychotic ethereal. Plus, I've heard her make remarks against medication so many times. And what's with her little sidekicks? First it was Dr Phil. Then that woman doctor. Now it's the Dr Oz show. When is he going to get his own talk show? Dr Phil is now doing that too. He has that TD Jakes fellow on all the time. Since when did a preacher rate as an expert in psychology?

I cannot stand when people read over my shoulder. Ahem...BOY. He drives me nuts. Constantly over my shoulder, telling me how to spell things and what to say. He's worse than a husband. And I got rid of one of those.

I have a new house cleaner. She is wonderful. My house is so nice and clean. Finally. Of course, the Girl is the worst offender in the "make the house a frigging mess" contest, so it's easier to clean when she's not home. But still. And I got a new vacuum. Free. Well, not free. I used my Amazon Gift Certificates from MotherTalk. Gift Certificates I earned from reviewing books. I love MotherTalk. I love my new vacuum cleaner. My rugs are spotless. I am happy.

I would hire someone to brush my hair all day long. That is how much I love having my hair brushed. I also love having my hair washed. LOVE IT. And having my head scratched. I'm like a cat. I cannot get enough of it. I try and talk the kids into brushing my hair. They have caught on. They run like hell when they see the hairbrush. I hate them.

My room air conditioners are STILL on the floor of the living and dining rooms. I cannot seem to be able to convince certain teenage boys that they are unattractive and should be in the basement. It's always 'later.' Can you please tell me when later actually is? Just so I can plan.

I have a pile of stuff to sell on ebay. So guess when my digital camera once again decides not to talk to the computer? This happens every once in a while and we cannot figure out why. The cable is plugged in, the camera is open, everything is working and yet the software cannot find the camera. Frustrating beyond belief. Plus, it eventually just fixes itself, and we never know when it's 'fixed' unless we keep trying to connect it. Ugh.

I cannot figure out how to download the photos from my cell phone to the computer. The booklet that came with the phone? The Girl took it upstairs to read and it disappeared inside the Museum of Mess she refers to as her room.

I guess that's about it for this session of "True Confessions." So what is your true confession?

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