Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Saturday, December 01, 2007

Do we REALLY need a bra bag?

Browsing through my bazillion blogs with bloglines, I came across this little bizarro site cutesy of Melanie. Oh my God, this is the stupidest waste of coin I've seen in a long long time. Maybe it's just me, but I've gotten along for many many years traveling all over the globe without a specially designed piece of luggage just for my bras. Amazingly, I'm still alive and kicking. Melanie claims that this is a hot Christmas gift item. WHY? Do we really need to have the TSB rummaging through our luggage and pull up this giganitc bra? How mortifying would that be?

Now, like Melanie, maybe I'm just not in the demographic that feels that this item is a Must Have for my holiday wish list. I mean, my boobs shrink with every pound I lose. What used to be full on D's are now sorta C's. I say sorta because they're so damn empty and flat these days that they don't even seem to be boobs anymore. I know men that have firmer, fuller boobs than I do. So much for the joys of weight loss.

But even in my fullest D's, I didn't wear bras with padding. I mean, when you're already busting out of your over the shoulder boulder holders, why add even more gusto? I was more in the minimizer crowd. I've never been a fan of the large boobs, even though genetics in my family dictated that I had little choice. My Grannie Rose Z"L was so enormous in the boobage that she actually had to have her bras made for her. They just didn't make them big enough in those days, I guess. Because her bras were so expensive, being custom made and all, she used to wear a silky undershirt UNDER her bras, so they wouldn't get dirty.

When Grannie Rose visited our family, she shared my bedroom. One of my most lasting and vivid memories of my childhood is watching Grannie Rose undress at night, and then dress in the morning. She would roll up her boobs. Honest, I am not (aka Dave Barry) making this up. She would put on her silky undershirt and her amazingly old lady boxeresque grannie panties, and then she would roll the boobs up, starting at the bottom and moving upward, with the bra already secured around her chest, cups drooping southward. Once a boob was rolled up tight, she would swoop it into the cup and then slip the strap over her shoulder. On to the second boob she would go while I watched in silent amazement, pretending I was still asleep. As if! Who could sleep through this?

Once both boobs were tucked away into her bra she would bend down at the waist, adjust both boobs for maximum uplift, mushing them this way and that until they were perfect inside her boobcage. Those poor boobs were tucked in so tightly that they didn't move an inch.

This was a terrific learning experience on dealing with enormo-boobs.

Amazingly, Grannie Rose didn't need a special boob bag for her bras, either. What I want to know is, who does? Do you have this item on your wish list? If so, why? I really want to know!

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Blogger JaniceNW said...

You were right. ALL men suck.

2/12/07 12:17 AM  
Blogger moon said...

OMG I have to totally agree with u on many things, including the rediculous boob bag lol! I have lost many lbs myself, and I have to say I am very grateful that I have shed some boobage. I was a DDD or F. depending on the bra, and frankly I have shed about 2 D's so far and although the boobage has flattened ...my neck and back is reeping the benefits of less pain because of it! ..I have joked alot about soon having to roll them up though, as they are hanging lower, but never thought anyone ever actually did that! Atleast your grandmother did what worked!!

2/12/07 3:14 AM  
Blogger Blog Antagonist said...

Oh your poor Grannie!! My sister has recently lost about 90lbs and is having similar boob issues. I think she will get a reduction (she will need skin removal elsewhere also when she is done losing weight) so she doesn't have to do boob rolling.

I do just fine without a bra bag. I think it's a fairly ridiculous idea.

2/12/07 11:43 AM  

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