Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Monday, December 17, 2007

A new parenting milestone

I rarely take a day off from not only blogging, but the computer in general. But yesterday, I had to take a day off because had I not, today I would be in jail for murder. Yeah, it's THAT bad. So let's do a weekend roundup, shall we?

Friday night I find that a certain Boy has been searching hard core porn sites. He denies the evidence staring him in the face (thank you Google), has computer privileges rescinded indefinately.

Sat. morning he wakes up in a serious snit, but I make him do Christmas in the City and his behavior calms right down. He is actually helpful and pleasant. His sister, however, makes a very bad error of judgement and I'm pretty annoyed with her. But we solve that issue and go home and pass out with exhaustion. I later find evidence that he has been smoking pot in his bedroom. He left a roach just sitting out. Not a bright move.

Sat. evening Boy has his friend Em over. They have been very clearly told by both me and Em's mom that they ARE NOT to attend big high school party that we know is going to have both drugs and alcohol there. They promise not to go, and say they are going to another friend's house.

I call friend's house about 45 minutes after they left, friend tells me Boy is 'in the bathroom'. Yeah, and I have three heads. I call back a bit later and friend tells me Boy and Em have 'gone out' for a few minutes to pick something up at the store. Sure they have. That's so believable.

I call Em's mom and tell her that they went to party. She is NOT amused. I am NOT amused. I tell her to stand by while I gather more info. I wait till the Girl comes home from babysitting and I have her call a couple of friends who are also at said party. Sure enough, Boy and Em are at party, imbibing and out on front lawn making trouble. Nice! I call Em's mom back, she goes to pick them up. How embarassing. Boy comes home stumbling drunk. Not just tipsy, drunk as a skunk drunk. Disgustingly sloppy drunk. I am beyond pissed. I know that this is a "normal" teenage thing. I get that. But he can't drink with his meds. It is bad mojo. Very bad. Plus, he smelled like pot. Big surprise there, since I found a roach in his room earlier on that evening.

He shows no remorse and thinks it's hilarious that he's so drunk. It was so not funny. I sent him to bed to sleep it off and he went stumbling off upstairs. He was out like a light in a few minutes.

I decide that I can't even look at him on Sunday I am so disappointed and angry at him. I know that anything I say will just inflame him, he won't listen, he'll be more beligerent and I'll end up even more furious than I was Sat. night. So I stay in bed. All frigging day. He avoids me like the plague. The computer is barred (changed all passwords so he can't get on), he's not allowed to speak to his friends on the phone (I can control the phone usage from my bedroom), no going out, no having friends in. He is GROUNDED. He spent the entire day yesterday watching Buffy on DVD and eating everything in sight.

I told him several times to clean up after himself. Did he do anything? He did not. He left dirty dishes all over the house. He was too lazy to empty the dishwasher even though he was told to several times. So there were dishes piled up in the sink, on the counter, and the coffee table. There was food left on the floor, glasses tossed on the floor, etc. A complete pig sty. He will be doing all of this cleaning when he gets home.

There will be a bed opening for him soon at the residential program. He needs to be somewhere safe, and he needs 24 hour monitoring at this point. Mixing alcohol with his medications is extremely dangerous. Smoking pot in his room is also dangerous, especially since he is not allowed access to lighters or matches due to past behaviors.

The saddest part? He just isn't getting that he's treading on really dangerous territory. It's just beyond his comprehension. It breaks my heart, but you know what? I'm done. DONE DONE DONE. I can't take any more of this. I can't watch this kid self-destruct in my own home.

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Blogger Robin said...

I'm sorry Margalit. Really sorry. I wish things were different for all of you.

17/12/07 3:23 PM  
Anonymous bethany actually said...

My heart goes out to you, Margalit, and your kids. This is such a hard, crappy hand you've all been dealt. I admire how much you love your kids and how hard you fight for them. I'll keep praying for you all...

17/12/07 3:39 PM  
Blogger Blog Antagonist said...

That's a tough situation to be in. I don't envy you at all. I know someday I will be fighting the same battles. Until then, I'll be listening to your stories and taking notes.

17/12/07 3:52 PM  
Blogger daysgoby said...

Giant hugs to you, darlin'.

17/12/07 4:18 PM  
Blogger JaniceNW said...

I know these battles to a certain extent. BBB did the try thing with both pot and alcohol. He got caught with pot and I think we scared him pretty good, but one never really knows. BPB drinks, though not to excess, so he doesn't take his meds. He's been fine so far. Maybe his hypomania was random or maybe I'm in a great state of denial.

I'm praying. It's all so scary and frustrating. Try and hang in there.

17/12/07 4:21 PM  
Blogger Daisy said...

My heart goes out to you for your troubles. I am cheering for you, though, for your thorough investigation of the party. You and Em's mom ROCK. Really. Hang in there; we're on your side.

17/12/07 6:15 PM  
Blogger The Hotfessional said...

Darling Margalit, I'm so sorry for your troubles. You have to do what you have to do.

17/12/07 8:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alcohol and drugs are in every town/high school but I have to say Newton from my experience is one of the hardest towns to raise drug free kids,the peer pressure is unbelievable,the drug "bragging" is beyond what you see in other areas.kids are looked at like they are nuts if the don't smoke bud.like something is actually wrong with them for NOT smoking.take a look at your or any kids facebook (if your kid has one) and see all the pics of kids in newton blazing.your kid doesnt have a chance in breaking free from that group that smokes all the time because that group is 90% of the highschool and its worse than you could possibly know.

17/12/07 8:32 PM  
Blogger madamspud169 said...

I'm sorry honey this is such a difficults, frustrating time for you.

18/12/07 6:44 AM  
Anonymous Neener said...

Just keep breathing. I know this is horrible for everyone.

18/12/07 9:38 AM  
Blogger Major Bedhead said...

Blah. I'm sorry you're going thru such turmoil and drama. Hang in there.

18/12/07 4:40 PM  

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