Ponderings while it snows outside
Today I was dozing while watching Martha. I love Martha, I really do, but her show is a giant commercial for her various and numerous product lines. Every freaking day it's something else her company makes. She's trying to take over the world, one item at a time. Today she introduced her first product in a line she's bringing to Costco. First KMart, then Macy's, and now Costco. See, she IS trying to take over the world. Her newest item is ham. Yup, ham. Now, I'm not a pork consumer. But if I were, ham would be dead last on the pork products I would consume. It isn't an attractive hunk'o'meat. It's a weird color. It smells funky. It's just not something I would find satisfying.
But who cares about me. The point is, after she glazed the ham and baked it, she made a sandwich and then had her little elves pass out ham sandwiches to the entire audience. This made me wonder what I would have done if I were in her audience. She shoots in NYC. There must be Jews that keep Kosher in her audience. I saw one person put the sandwich in her lap and not touch it. I wonder if you're allowed to say "No thank you" at Martha's show. What is the etiquette for this? Anyone know?
While I'm on the Martha subject, does it annoy anyone else how freaking cheap she is about her giveaways? Ellen is passing out washers and dryers, Oprah is giving away refrigerators with built in TVs, and Martha? She's passing out dish towels and copies of her books. It's almost as if she can't bear to give anything to anyone. I'm betting she argued about giving stuff away at all. You can see she gets no pleasure in it, unlike Ellen and Oprah, and even Rosie when she had her show. How can a woman with such a huge empire be so freaking tight? This annoys me no end.
This morning I had to ask the Boy 7 separate times within a half hour to bring in the garbage barrels before it started snowing. SEVEN times. Every time he told me to 'shut up'. He's such a delight. However, there's a program on Frontline that I saw this week on teens, and much of it made me laugh. So much of my kids negative behavior is normal adolescence. I know it seems extreme to have such a nasty young man in my home, and yes, he is nasty much of the time, but it's normal! If you have a teenager, you must watch this episode online. It's brilliant.
Yesterday I was in a sulk all afternoon because there was a big holiday party at the Boy's program at school and I didn't go. This is a party I look forward to all year. The crowd is littered with everyone who is anyone in our city. The mayor, the superintendent of schools, the judge at youth court, the youth probation officer, the various shrinks that work with the kids, the social workers from various programs, parents, siblings, and any teacher that can sneak out of class. Police and firefighters are well represented, as are various politicians. It's THE event for the community that works with kids in our city, and it's an amazing party. The food, oh man the food. Everyone donates something. This year I made a big batch of cranberry orange relish to go with the two turkeys a past parent donates every year. The Boy brought it in early with him.
But I called for the Ride and they didn't show up. Usually they're late. No, they're ALWAYS late. But not showing up, well that's happened several times before, but I didn't expect it yesterday. I called when they were a few minutes late and the dispatch guy told me they would be there in 20 minutes. When that deadline passed, I called again and he told me it would be another 20 minutes, which would be right at the end of the party. And then they didn't even show up, the bastids. I hate them. They are unreliable on a good day, and worthless most of the time. EVERY ride ends up with me having to call them and ask where the hell they are. EVERY ride. It's so frustrating. From what I understand, however, this is common to all the users of the Ride and the MBTA, which runs the program, doesn't really care. There have been serious complaints about the treatment of the handicapped by the Ride, but nothing is done. It's remarkable how poorly the whole thing runs.
So I missed the party and my children didn't bring me one morsel of food to snack on. Not one. They are mean mean children.
Lastly, but certainly not least, did I tell you what the Boy got me for Hanukkah? I know I haven't. Are you sitting down? He got me a Jack Bauer action figure. JUST what I always wanted. Now it's sitting on the piecrust table with Jack facing the sofa, gun at the ready. So charming. Such a lovely addition to our home decor.
Isn't it lovely?
The Girl bought me the most wonderfully warm and comfy Red Sox slippers. I love them. I have then on right now. They are just delightful!
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