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Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Wednesday, January 30, 2008

The one where I do the unthinkable

You know, I believe I've mentioned two or three times that I've been sick. Oh, more like 300 hundred times? Well, geesh, give me a break, it's been 7 weeks and I still feel like death warmed over.

Yesterday at my Cardiac Rehab group, when they were doing my vitals, the nurse listened to my back because my breathing is so shallow and the coughing so forced, and she said, "You have pneumonia." Well, Uh-Duh. How long have I been saying this? I can't freaking breathe. She told me to pop on over to my PCP for a chest X-ray, but I believe I've mentioned this damn PCP is nigh on impossible to see. And I've got an appointment next week. So do I just stick it out?

Up till today I would have stuck it out, but I'm in such crappy shape today I did the unthinkable. I ate Jello. Jell-freaking-O. I hate the stuff. It totally creeps me out. I have to be near death's doorstep to put Jello into my mouth. But this evening it was the only thing I could think of to eat that wouldn't either make me choke or make me puke.

Are you having fun yet?

If you've wondered just what I've been up to, or where I've disappeared to, well the answer is either the sofa or my bed. It actually takes too much effort right now to read your blogs. I know you're posting and I promise I'll try to get back and read everyone, but comments? Not a chance. Way too tiring.

I did get out today to take the Boy to his shrink because I so wanted to talk to the doctor. And after 2 freaking years of telling him that the Boy's eating habits are just out of any possible grasp of 'the norm' he finally heard me. I know that if you have a teenage boy, it's expected that they eat a lot, but I went to the store on Friday and bought $250 worth of food to last until the beginning of next month, and it's gone. GONE. I'm barely eating, the Girl wasn't eating at all, so he just at the entire store. 6 muffins, 6 bagels, loaf of challah, loaf of marble rye, 2 boxes of saltines, OJ, cranberry juice, cran pom juice, 12 cans ginger ale...gone. 8 packs ramen, 8 boxes mac and cheese, tortillas, cheese....gone.

This just blew me away because this is binge eating. You can't be hungry with all those carbs. Plus I told him over and over not to eat this or that and he did anyhow. He admitted that he felt guilty for eating the food but he can't stop himself. I freaking KNEW IT. I've been screaming eating disorder for years. So we're going to do a bunch of medical tests to check thyroid, cholesteral (the Boy has been worried about his cholesteral) blood sugar, etc. and when those come back, we'll figure out what to do. Because this is just NOT working right now.

Back to bed. But are you guys playing the great Bloggy Giveaway?

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4 Comments:

Blogger daysgoby said...

Oh, feel better soon!

30/1/08 7:19 AM  
Anonymous Lisse said...

CALL your PCP office and explain the situation to them. If you have pneumonia, there is *no way* you should wait a week for anti-biotics. Especially with all the other stuff you have going on, you need to be seen.

30/1/08 12:02 PM  
Blogger Daisy said...

Has the Boy been checked for diabetes? All those carbs... I hope you can breathe soon. Your own doc really ought to let you in ASAP, rather than force the option of an ER. Hope it doesn't come to that!

30/1/08 2:39 PM  
Blogger Barbara from Nova Scotia said...

Wow. Hope you get better soon, and that you don't get eaten out of house and home.

31/1/08 12:40 PM  

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