Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Calamity vs Calm

I'm not a calm person. No Buddha like presence here. I'm more like a volcano that erupts fairly frequently and then simmers back to my normal anxiety-ridden state. Strange, I'm much calmer in a struggle or an emergency than I am in every day living. I worry a lot. I have all sorts of anxiety type habits. When I get mad I get furious. When I'm done being mad, I'm often still seething quietly. That's who I am, and it hasn't been particularly harmful to me so far.

I have real issues with people who are namby-pamby. People who only want to see the pretty in life. People who see only good when there is so much evil. People who want everyone to love everyone else, even though it's apparent that this is an impossibility. We're not made to love everyone. Humans have always had conflicts in their lives. It's Darwin's survival of the fittest put into action. We need conflict in order to survive. Because there is only so much to go around, and unless people fight for their rights, for what should belong to them, they get nothing and they die.

I'm not advocating that we all go to war, or that we all act like Massholes and try to stick our noses into every argument. But I honestly do not want to hear one more person do this "love is all you need" crap. Love isn't all you need. You need money and recognition and respect and housing and food and all sorts of things that love is never going to provide you unless you're a high class hooker. Me, I'd rather have a bit of anger and resentment and be true to myself. I don't sell my soul for anyone or anything. I call a spade a spade, and I don't really tolerate much bullshit.

When I see talent, I sing out my praises. When I see corporate shilling, I sing out my disapproval. When I see cheating, I'm the first to call it. When I see placating for the purpose of self-advancement, I will say something. When I see someone just calling it in with no effort, I'll be honest in my disappointment.

I may not be the most likable person on the planet, but I don't really want to be, either. I don't want a bunch of phony friends. I don't want people to try and bask in my glory. I want them to bask in their own glory. I don't want people to tell me who is great and who I'm supposed to admire. I'll make those choices myself, thank you very much. I don't want to tell only the good things that happen to me, nor do I want to read that dreck on other people's blogs. I won't ever pretend to be impressed by someone who doesn't impress me in the slightest, no matter how much that person shills for their credibility. That kind of self-admiration makes me throw up a bit in my mouth. Don't tell me how impressed you are with yourself. I don't care. Don't tell me how impressed you are with the same old boring crap that everyone pretends to live. I don't care about that either.

I DO care a lot about your honest and real opinions. NOBODY, and I mean not even Mother Theresa herself, has only good impressions of everyone. That's just plain dishonest and makes you seem a fool. No, we can't all get along. We never have, we never will. People rub each other the wrong way. That's just a fact of life. Deal with it and move on.

I'm never going to like everyone you like. In fact, I'm probably going to despise some of the people you like. My feelings are just as valid to me as yours are to you. Trying to talk me into liking someone I find repulsive isn't ever going to work. Just like trying to talk Rebecca of Sunneybrook Farm into disliking someone I don't like won't work.

Accept that there are plenty of people like me out there. People who just do not handle bullshit well. People who are not ever going to like everyone. People who do find fault with the liars, cheaters, and corporate spokespersons. People that have a very strong code of honesty, integrity, and a bullshit meter that is set to very high at all times. We're out there, we're not going to be sunny and sweet, and we're certainly just as valid a personality type as anyone else. Heck, Andy Rooney has made millions being a curmudgeon. You want to tell him he's wrong and he should love everything and everyone in his life?

There's PLENTY of room for disapproval. Stop pretending it's so wrong. You do it in your own lives, you know you do. So faking your little sunny disposition and be a bit more real. Nothing wrong with real.

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Blogger JaniceNW said...

but, but, but...I am so impressed with myself all the live long day. Are you dealing with some pseudo Pollyannas in your life? I try to be neutral or give the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise.

The article you were(are) angry about, I went and read. Not being Jewish but definitely Pro-Israeli I considered the article naive and felt the topic was not researched at all. But then I know quite a bit about the hisotry of Israel since biblical times to the Zionist movement to the taking in of any Jew after the war eventhough the British did not approve.

I'm still debating whether to dump Blogher. I kinda of like the little money I earn and the promoing individual posts. You know at the bottom of the ad. Yet, I am a person who refuses to shop at WalMart because I disagree with their unfair labor practices.

I love ya even if you are an opinionated old broad. (ducking in case you're swinging). Hehe

30/4/08 1:29 AM  
Blogger Blog Antagonist said...

I have a low tolereance for bullshit and drama as well. I don't pretend to like people, things, or situations that I don't to be popular. That sometimes makes me the cheese who stands alone, but oh well.

I admire you for sticking to your principles.

30/4/08 7:11 AM  
Blogger Poppy Buxom said...

OK, I'll do as you ask and call it as I see it:

What's the context for this? I mean, it's perfectly possible that this is just a "I am Margalit, hear me roar" post, but after the whole BlogHer situation, I kind of doubt it.

And yet, I don't know what's happened, either. Am I supposed to assume that you're still mad at BlogHer? Or has something else happened?

30/4/08 6:30 PM  
Blogger margalit said...

PB, the context is simple. I've been told to chill out, calm down, forget any slight, pretend that they didn't happen, it's all OK, nothing to get upset about... blah blah blah. Well, I don't work that way and I was making sure that people understood that I'm never going to be a person that pretends everything is beautiful, we're all special, and there's lollipops and candy for everyone! That's SO not me.

Does that answer your question?

30/4/08 7:44 PM  
Blogger Poppy Buxom said...

Yep! Thanks!

30/4/08 9:24 PM  
Blogger Sue said...

You tell 'em Sistah!!

I totally agree with you here.

I've never found a pair of rose-coloured glasses that suited me. Some stuff in teh world just sucks. Why pretend otherwise?

1/5/08 12:08 PM  

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