Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Sunday, April 13, 2008

My heart just aches for her

The Girl is a master at losing things. She loses things because she never puts things where they belong. No matter how many times I beg, plead, nag, and whine, she leaves a trail of her stuff behind her. The concept of "put it away" seems to allude her. To her, away means someplace else. To me, away means to the place it belongs.

Because she's constantly leaving things hither and yon, we're always in some kind of catch-up mode, trying to backtrack to where she might have left whatever it is she's lost. It's hard on me because I tend not to lose things, and I try my hardest to have some empathy for her, but deep in the recesses of my mind I'm thinking "If you just put the damn thing where it belongs, it wouldn't be lost!" I don't say it, because what good would it do, but when she gets all upset because something is once again missing, I'm not that great at being ultra supportive.

Tonight she is on a tear because she can't find her homework folder. She's done her homework. She tucked it into the folder. And then she lost the folder. It might be at her friend's house, she really can't remember if she actually brought it home from school on Friday. It isn't anywhere in the house that we can see, but that doesn't mean it isn't here. She could have easily left it someplace bizarre where it won't be uncovered for weeks. I swear, we need an archaeologist just to keep up with her losses.

I feel badly for her because she gets so upset. She knows that this is a problem. She knows that because she doesn't put things away they tend to disappear. Tonght I sat her down and we took a quick look around the room and I pointed out all the things that were hers that have been left in the wrong place. Her eyes filled up with tears because she knows that she's not helping herself when she drops stuff anyplace and everywhere except where it goes. We talked about her trying harder to put stuff away, but then she went upstairs to bed and left everything we had just located right were it didn't belong.

I think we need some sort of organizational review on how to put things were they belong. Maybe she needs pictures of what goes where, just like she did when she was little. That seemed to work well, but is it too embarassing for her to have pictures on her drawers of what goes inside? I just don't know.

I'm feeling really sad for her right now. I can't solve the problem of the missing homework. I honestly have no clue of what she did with it. But I know she's beating herself up for being such a ditz, and that makes me want to cry.

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Blogger bethany actually said...

My heart goes out to her. I'm forever setting things down absent-mindedly and then racing around later trying to find them. In one house, I'd set my water bottle or cup of coffee somewhere and forget where. I'd look around and then my husband if he'd seen it, and he'd answer before I even finished asking, "Did you look by the TV?" For some reason I could never remember that I ALWAYS set my drink on the TV stand as I was passing from the hallway to the living room. Duh.

Pictures would probably help me too. I hope the homework folder is found.

13/4/08 11:03 PM  

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