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Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

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Saturday, May 24, 2008

Not living up to your end of the bargain

Dear IRS,

You and I will never be good friends. You're selfish. You take and take and take, and really, what do I get out of our relationship? Government? Seems like you've been wasting my money for the past 8 years.

Then you made me a promise. You said you would send me money. Me! Money! All I had to do was to fill out a tax form for 2007, and then I could get money. Y0u called it a stimulus package. Heck, I want to stimulate the grocery store and the gas station. I'm in!

I filled out my tax form like a good girl. I mailed it in months ago. I asked for direct deposit. And then I waited.

At some point you put out a chart of when I was supposed to get my money. You remember, to stimulate the economy? That money? According to you, my money was to be direct deposited to my bank account on May 2nd.

Well, May 2nd came and went, and I figured that maybe you weren't really doing direct deposit, so I would just wait for the real paper check to arrive. According to your chart, that check would arrive by May 23.

Guess what today is? Why, it's May 23. Guess what didn't arrive in the mail today? That stimulus check.

Now I'm getting pissed, IRS. When you demand money of me, I send it. I don't want to, in fact I hate to, but I do it. Mostly because I don't want to end up in jail. That's right, you make me pay by promising that if I don't, I can go to jail. But then you promise me money, and what are the consequences for you when that money doesn't arrive? Oh right, there aren't any.

I can't get to you by telephone. You have safely taken care of that by never allowing human contact by telephone. This means I have to go Downtown and take a number and wait for hours in line just to find out where my check is. I bet you find this hard to believe, but I don't want to do that. I want you to keep your promise. If you say you're going to get the check to me by a certain date, I want to know what the hold up is. And I want to hear it from a real live person. Not a machine.

I guess I don't get why all this is so complicated. You're the ones that came up with this plan, not me. If you make an offer you can't really perform, how about being honest and saying that you're overwhelmed or something? But don't make me wait every darn day for the mailman to arrive and then practically attack him saying, "Did the check come?" I think he has the feeling I'm slightly insane.

I'm not insane. I just want you to live up to your end of the bargain. Is that so hard?

Kisses!

Margalit

P.S. Want to fix the national deficit and fool around with the national budget. Here's your chance!

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10 Comments:

Blogger Dave2 said...

Sigh. It seems like only yesterday that you were mad because you weren't getting a stimulus check... now it seems that you ARE getting a stimulus check after all, but you're mad because it's running late. I'm sure once it's deposited, you'll be mad because it wasn't delivered to your house in a golden carriage pulled by six white horses and placed in your hands by President Bush himself (which, granted, would be a better use of his time than whatever new disaster he is working on).

Would it make you even a little happy if I told you that you can check the status of your check online? Probably not. I'll be awaiting the entry where you're mad that the IRS uses blue text on their web site for text links. :-)

24/5/08 6:21 AM  
Blogger margalit said...

Dave, I don't know for sure if I even AM getting a stimulus check. I did what I was supposed to do, but the IRS was never clear on whether or not I qualified. So I don't have any clue if I'm getting it. I do check (daily) on that form you mentioned, but it always comes up the same way: No information. So I don't know anything more than you do about where my damn check is (or isn't, for that matter). But I really NEED the check so I'm frustrated because according to that little chart, it should have been deposited on the 2nd... and it's the 24th now.

So yeah, I'm mad. And I would like a golden carriage to deliver the check, but please...not by Bush. By Johnny Depp.... now that's the ticket!

24/5/08 7:55 AM  
Blogger Daisy said...

Margalit, you have the right attitude. I would most definitely prefer delivery by Depp to delivery by Dubya. I hope your check arrives and you can stimulate the economy, too! (Uh, Dave? We're laughing at you, not with you.)

24/5/08 8:24 AM  
Blogger Charming said...

800-829-0922 will get you a real, live person but the standard wait time is 30-45 mins (though sometimes as little as 20). It's not a line for stimulus checks, per se, but there is an ''all other questions'' option and maybe they can help.

24/5/08 6:15 PM  
Blogger hschinske said...

1-800-829-1954 is the number for the tax rebate thing in particular, per www.irs.gov/faqs/faq1-12.html .

24/5/08 7:35 PM  
Blogger momofonefornow said...

You took the words right out of my mouth! We believed that we would be getting 1500 but when it finally came it was only 900. The real kicker is they won't give us the extra 600 dollars because we are poor. Hello? Where's the logic? If we are so poor, we will be much more likely to rush out and spend the money. Isn't that the whole damn point. Dumb, stupid, ridiculous government.

25/5/08 1:41 AM  
Blogger BSumner said...

well you're suppose to get a letter in the mail just before you get the check.. which makes no damn sense to me. If they had time to mail you a letter.. why didn't they just put the fkn check in with it? LOL

We were told we were getting ours on the 9th (I think).. and it came 5 days later... then 4 days after that we got the letter saying we were getting the check. LOL

25/5/08 8:56 PM  
Blogger Fox In Detox said...

Amen sistah! If we have to keep our promises to the IRS under penalty of jail time, they should be held to the same standards. That will never happen of course...being that they are a government agency and therefore, above reproach... but in a perfect world...? The possibilities are endless.

Hope you get your check soon!

27/5/08 8:55 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

If you did direct deposit through say ...Turbo Tax, then that is where your hold up is. The IRS does not consider that "direct deposit" as it is technically a bank that you get your refund(s) from and the IRS then reimburses that particular bank (i.e. Santa Barbara Bank & Trust is one of them). The IRS does not get your direct deposit info in that instance so you are considered a "paper check" for stimulus purposes. Check the "when will i get my check" data for your SS# under paper checks being mailed and that will put you at a better time table for delivery. Of course, as you said, none of this matters if you (like me) are not getting a bleepin penny for stimulus of any sort. Pisses me off cause I like to be stimulated as much as the next gal. But there ya have it :((

27/5/08 11:35 AM  
Blogger margalit said...

Still no check, and no letter either. I am going to try the phone numbers later this afternoon and see if I can get through to a hoooman, but I'm not counting on anything.

I just wish they made it easier! And were a bit less disorganized. It's so late now I don't think I'm getting one even though when I called the IRS (local) to ask, they said I would. I don't know... it's all so iffy!

27/5/08 12:56 PM  

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