Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Saturday, June 07, 2008

Time keeps on ticking...into the future

My baby boy. My sweet cheeked baby boy. In preschool he was very blond and had the most adorable smile. His heart was filled with joy, he loved his friends and learning. He was curious and animated and just adorable.

His first year of preschool was unique. His best friend was one of the teachers. He had no use for the kids, who were all younger than he was. The next year they moved him up a class, with kids a year older. It was a better fit, but his best friend Russell the teacher was still the most important person there. Russell played guitar and trombone and was in a rock band. He was the Boy's God.

In kindergarten he was less sure of himself. He was the only kid in his class reading big chapter books. Many of the other kids were still working on their letters. When they did the letter of the week, he would try and stump the other kids. The letter K was his favorite. His words: knife, knight, knave, knee. Drove the teachers crazy. Started to hate school.

By 5th grade he had skipped a grade, had been diagnosed ADHD, had plowed through 4 schools, and was finally getting accomodations for giftedness as well as his ADHD. It was the year we came back to Massachusetts and it wasn't an easy year for him.

Middle school was an unmitigated disaster. It was trauma filled, it was the first time he was 'identified' by school authorities as being a trouble maker, it was the first time he was actually humiliated by a principal. He didn't make it though middle school. It was a very dark time for our family. It was the time of his first hospitalizations and his Bipolar diagnosis. He was an unhappy boy. It was just a terrible time for everyone in our family. We got through it. It wasn't easy. Or pleasant. But we survived.

Today he woke up on his own, early. It is SAT day. He got dressed, we went to Dunks and got coffee and a donut, and I drove him to school. We sat in the parking lot and watched all the people drive in. Many moms drove their kids in, and then walked them to the door. He would rather die than have me walk him to the door. He's almost 16. He can do it himself. Just ask him.
My baby boy. All grown up. He still needs me sometimes. Like to buy him donuts and take him to the test. But he can do most everything by himself.

I so miss that baby boy. That pudgy kid with smooth legs and a sweet smile for everyone. That cautious kid with the brains of an adult. The baby boy that hid behind me when it came time to try new things, until his curiosity got the better of him. That boy who sat in my lap and read Harry Potter to me when he was in first grade because I was reading it "too slow" for him. That little rock star that self-taught himself guitar by watching Tom Chapin videos. That pretty face that could explain how electricity worked. That sturdy guy who liked to jump off high things, always making me gasp. The kid who has never been hurt, not once. No broken bones, no cuts, not one visit to the ER ever. The little boy that needed me every day.

He is gone. He is a man now.

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Blogger Daisy said...

I love the idea of a kindergarten kid stumping the others with his silent K words! Oh, I wish I'd taught him in elementary school.

7/6/08 8:46 AM  
Blogger Robin said...

What a beautiful post. I'm a big soggy pile of mommy mush and he isn't even my kid!

7/6/08 1:27 PM  
Blogger bethany actually said...

Oh, Margalit, I'm actually crying. That was a beautiful post and makes me want to slow time down so Annalie won't grow up so fast.

7/6/08 1:35 PM  
Blogger Nit said...

Hi from NCLM :)

I really enjoyed this post! I am sure that he is just as proud of you as you are of him. :)

Take care.

7/6/08 3:42 PM  
Blogger MissMeliss said...

Wow. SAT day...what a milestone.

7/6/08 7:05 PM  
Blogger alicia said...

thanks for sharing your sons story! 16 is a great age, I love teenagers!

here from nacomleavmo

7/6/08 7:06 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

Oh my! I know the day when my boys are men is coming sooner than I could ever imagine and my oldest is only seven! NCLM

7/6/08 9:49 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Thanks for sharing all those memories with us. It was nice to see/hear the journey of Boy into manhood. I know firsthand that is a tough journey, both for moms and the Boy(s), but Boy will adjust to it faster then mom will. For us, it's many days of wishing, and remembering the little "man" we adored (and still do).
You definitely sound as though you have had more than your share of hardships on this journey - but I venture to say you will agree that the ride is still worth the price of admission.

Thanks again for sharing!

8/6/08 9:48 AM  

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