Attention Higher Power: Updated
We can deal with blizzards. We're familiar with hurricaines. We even have known an earthquake or two. But no, we do not know the tornado. And we are happy about it.
So when the TV shouts tornado warnings at us, what the heck to you expect us to do? Oh, we have basements. Do we go down there? Do we hide in the middle of the basement away from the windows? Do we go into a corner and weep? Do we hide under the stairs and hope for the best. Or snuggle down under the bulkhead? Are our basements even the right kind of basements for a tornado?
See, Higher Power, we do not know these things. We do not know what to bring with us when we hide in the bathtub like they did on Desperate Housewives. Do we pull mattresses over our heads? Is a bathroom with a large window safe? Are the windows supposed to be open wide? If a tornado hits, is it the wicked witch of the North we're afraid of? Will there be flying monkeys? I hate those flying monkeys. They are very scary and way too creepy for me. I won't watch them.
What is a funnel cloud doing here anyhow? Are you confused, higher power? Do you think we're in Kansas? We're in freaking Massachusetts. See, there is an ocean just a few miles east of here. Oceans don't happen in tornado alley. You need to find a nice flat plain to put down a tornado. We don't want them here.
We also do not want more flooding. We have had enough of that. The rain that keeps on coming and coming and coming so more? We're about done with that. So why, higher power, is the 11:30 pm forecast saying:
Flood Advisories issued throughout Mass.
Who's idea of a joke is this, anyhow?
Thursday at 1 pm. SO NOT FUNNY. Tornado in New Hampster? One spotted right down the road where we're supposed to be going to the movies? I am NOT laughing. Stumble It! JBlog Me