Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Tuesday, July 01, 2008

It's a beautiful day in the Blogosphere

Well, maybe not. More like it's a snarky day in the neighborhood. Not that I have anything against snark. I don't. I just like my snark private and not on very large social networking sites. Ahem.

I don't really need to recap what happened, but here goes. Basically one rather embittered iconoclastic and self-absorbed blogger thought it would be such a great idea to attack another, much sweeter and nicer blogger on Twitter. And while she was at it, she'd make nasty and rather stupid accusations of the Trainwreck variety, forgetting that she herself was a victim of may episodes of Trainwrecking. The person she slammed put up a very gracious post about how confused she was by this attack and how sorry she was to have caused any rift in the mommy-blogging arena. As it she were the person at fault. Then, our favorite "I'm so important I have to step in and put in my two cents worth even though I had nothing whatsover to do with the situation, so why not inflame it?" blogger had to weigh in about how we have such a strong "community" and we have to work to keep our "community of something like 90 million mommy-bloggers" strong by not snarking on social networks. Said she of the Queen of Snark on that very social network. At least she had the cajones to admit she's a big part of the problem. Lastly, the original attacker, got worried that people were unsubscribing in droves to her Twitter (in all honesty, I had unsubscribed her weeks before during the big purge) and on her blog. You know, numbers count and it's hurtful to see people dismiss your bitchiness by unsubscribing. So she thought it would be a great idea to post this long, rambling diatribe about how in high school she was unpopular and nobody liked her and she hated the movie Titaniac and wanted to scratch her eyes out while watching it (who DID like that movie... not me) and this is why is't OK to attack people online. Because she's 'different' and never fit in.

OMG, the drama! The stupidity! The errant bitchiness!

No apology. No way. She said that she doesn't have to apologize because she stands up for her opinions. OK, so do I. In a big way. But if you're going to attack someone, maybe blaming it on your bad high school experience 20 years back, might not be the greatest excuse. I gotta wonder just how many people rolled their eyes reading that piece of gar-bage.

Of course, being a bit on the snarky side myself, my email inbox started heating up. "Did you see THIS?" people sent, with links to the posts. Like I'd be likely to miss any of the best of internet drama. And the sky is purple. You betcha I'm going to be doing my research and seeing what the blogosphere has to say about this latest gaff. I live for this stuff.

The thing that most of my email had in common was that this was indeed a Trainwreck, and for once we all mourned the loss of the Trainwreck site, for this was a classic. Seeing as the attacker was already a Trainwreck favorite, often cited for her preposterous utterings, you just knew that Trainwrecks would be off and running with this one. Unfair? Well, methinks this time the attacker would be a well deserved Trainwreck. In other instances I stood up for her, even offering her legal help. Not this time. You make your bed, you get to lie in it.

To me, two things have come out of this latest kerfluffle. Not to sound all Dr Phil on you (God forbid) but Did this pile of nasty work for you, Ms Attacker? No, it's not working all that well. Sure you have your sycophant commenters with the "you go girl" crap, but honestly, did attacking someone else really make a change in the world? No? Well then, STFU about your accusations.

Secondly, Do we have to persist in the notion that we have a community? Are we ready to just blow that off and face the fact that we have things in common, but really there isn't a community of mommybloggers. There are the A-listers, those self-proclaimed "we were first so we're better than anyone else" who think it's perfectly fine to have made their little group of other first out of the gate mommybloggers and who want that gate tightly shut behind them. They don't want a community other than the people they already know. They don't want to be inclusive. They don't want anyone new coming in and becoming popular and doing great stuff in the blogosphere. Some say it's pure jealousy, but I think it goes beyond that. It's a pure case of NIMBY, where the self-proclaimed originators of the mommyblog found their niche, their community, their friends and supporters, and they do not want any interference from the rest of us. I mean look at the facts. The same few people presenting the same stale content at BlogHer. the same few people hanging out together and being incredibly snarky and mean to the lesser mortals when they meet. The same people who have watched other blogs come and surpass their own tired rantings and really resent it. They see blogs with thousands and thousands of comments and make nasty comments about 'giveaways'.

There is not a shred of doubt that the A-listers aren't all that A-list anymore. They don't like that. They say they're all willing to welcome newcomers with open arms. Hah! What a freaking joke. And this whole drama is a perfect example of their willingness to welcome someone. Not. So let's just be honest. There is somewhat of a community within the mommybloggers. But it is a closed, gated community with guards on the outside to make sure that nobody new gets in. Guards with rifles who want to shoot to kill. But in this particular case, it's the guard who got shot. And she well deserved it.

*if you want to know who the characters are, I'm happy to disclose the names. Just email me.

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Blogger Robin said...

As usual I'm so completely out of it I might as well be on another planet. I don't twitter and I don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about, although I will admit to a Trainwreck type curiosity. E-mail me, would ya? I might as well snark vicariously via someone else LOL.

1/7/08 5:25 AM  
Blogger supa said...

I think it's a real social service in the blogging community to post about the Trainwrecks. Call it ... watchdog blogging.


1/7/08 8:59 AM  
Blogger Daisy said...

I've heard references to the Trainwreck on Twitter, but I'm D-list. What do I know? I must not be following the top of the heap on Twitter.
I think I'll keep it that way.

1/7/08 9:47 AM  
Blogger Jack said...

any rift in the mommy-blogging arena

Girl fights never change, do they. Just had a conversation with my niece about this.

We get bigger but the basic fight stays the same.

1/7/08 10:32 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

Ugh. I am out of it too. But this is one of the reasons I was happy to leave my almost all female office job behind. No thanks, sometimes I am embarrassed to be a woman. I actually have few girl friends that I am close with, lots of acquaintances but few really good friends. Too much drama for me!

1/7/08 2:06 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Fussy Fussypants said...

Oh honey, I just loved this post. I am honored to have you as a friend. Thank you.

Love, Alli

1/7/08 2:15 PM  
Blogger Florinda said...

OK, I apparently missed all the Twittering over this (since Twitter is totally whacked half the time, I'm less attentive to it lately), but I must know what - and who - is involved here. (Except for the "stepping-in" community-boosting blogger - I'm pretty sure I know who you mean there, and I read that post. Thought it wasn't bad, actually.)

In any case, you may be seeing me in your inbox soon...

1/7/08 4:13 PM  
Blogger Blog Antagonist said...

Have no idea what's going on, but have witnessed such previously. Which is why I now make a concerted effort to stay out of that kind of thing.

I don't understand what women get out of such drama.

I don't network, I don't schmooze, and my comments reflect that. But it's okay.

I have no desire to be an iconoclast blogger.

1/7/08 4:24 PM  
Blogger Dave2 said...

I read things like this and can't help but wonder what the motivation would be to act this way. It's just blogging, for heaven's sake!

But then I see the ads on everybody's blogs... realize that nothing generates visits more than controversy... and put two and two together...

1/7/08 9:11 PM  
Blogger sss said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

1/7/08 11:07 PM  
Blogger justmylife said...

I have read a couple of post about the EDrama. I think we are all too old for this crap.
I am fairly new to this whole blogging thing, less than a year, and some have welcomed me, others have not. I don't worry about it, I have been treated nicely by the bloggers I adore so that is what matters. Just call me a D-lister and I like it here.

1/7/08 11:12 PM  
Blogger Crazed Mom said...

Email this future nurse with deets so I have a clue.........love ya.

2/7/08 1:50 AM  
Blogger The Ex said...

I hate that you spent any time even talking about this - even dignifying this glorified playground scuffle with an entire blog post ATTACKING the attacker. Everyone is really batshit crazy over this and I don't see why anyone even cares.

If Sweetney wasn't A-List or whatever perceived popularity other people have assigned to her then there wouldn't be eleventy hundred blog posts about a 140 character tweet.

3/7/08 11:00 AM  
Blogger HRH said...


3/7/08 6:45 PM  

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