Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Sunday, September 21, 2008

It's tough to eat when you have no dishes

I've mentioned that my son is a bit of a hoarder. Not so much of junk. Dishes. He eats constantly, and mostly he prefers to eat in his room where he can do whatever it is he does on his computer and eat at the same time. He recently installed some Skype-like program and now he chit-chats with his friends constantly with a bunch of food surrounding his desk. I wouldn't have much of a problem with this IF he brought the dishes back down.

However, he does not. They pile up, and all of a sudden I have no plates, cups, glasses, silverware, bowls, etc. They just disappear up into his room, which is so gross I really don't want to go in there.

He took a bunch down over the summer and he was pretty good about taking everything back down for a month or so, but lately the kitchen has been drifting upstairs again. So today I gave him an ultimatum and made him bring dishes down. He argued, as every teen but those on TV are want to do, but he went up and came back down with a pile of a dozen or so plates. He tried to claim that was all that was up there, but I knew better and sent him back up. Down he came with about 5 glasses, again claiming that all was now gone from his lair.

My friend was over, and she has about as much patience as an ant, and she got up and went marching upstairs with him. She might be small in size, but she's as intimidating as hell to my kids, and they generally do what she says. Funny that her kids won't listen to her at all, but that's another post. She's up there a while and I hear thumping and furniture being moved about, and down he comes with another armful of kitchen ware. All four of my pitchers were up there. Big mixing bowls. Coffee cups. More dishes. He's looking a might bit shamed, but she calls him back up for even more.

We made a deal that he would wash them at 5 pm, and of course he tried to wriggle out of it. But I got in his chunky little squishy face and read him the riot act and he washed most of his dishes. He filled the ENTIRE dishwasher, turned it on, and said to me that he's going to have to run at least one and maybe two more loads.

OMG, two loads of filthy dishes in his room. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS KID?

I know that this is typical behavior of male teenagers. I've heard it from countless moms that I know irl, I've read it on MCMM a lot, I know it's normal. I've spoken to his therapist about it and she, always being on HIS side, the bitch, says to let it go and just try to get him to clean up at least weekly.

She's really lovely and wonderful with him and we both adore her...but she IS always on his side, and that irks me a bit. Why don't I get any sympathy? I have to live with him!

In talking about it with my friend, also the mom of teenagers, we decide that teens are just brain poisoned individuals whose synapses aren't working quite right. Eventually they'll make better connections. Hopefully. But you parents of bambinis that are still dealing with potty training and preschool... you just GOTTA be prepared for this stuff. Because if you think you can MAKE a teenager do what you want, I've got a big bridge in Brooklyn that I've put on Ebay. Go make a bid.

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Blogger Kmommy said...

OMG! Hilarious! I don't let my 11-year old take *anything* up to her room.
When we were kids, my step-dad was that way. he always hid in his room to watch tv... anyway, he would take the dishes to the bathroom every now and then when they'd piled up too high in the bedroom.
Once our toilet was plugged and my mom had to call Roto Rooter... guess what was plugging it? A fork! The guy told my mom he had to quit letting the kids eat in the bathroom!! :)
I thought you could use a good laugh!

21/9/08 8:57 PM  
Blogger Shelby said...

I thought the boy was on crutches. How can he carry dishes around?

22/9/08 9:35 PM  

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