Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Wednesday, November 05, 2008

The more it changes, the more it stays the same

The world is celebrating, the country feels lighter, people feel happier. Last night changed our country for the better. However, that does not mean that our individual lives change for the better, too. In fact, here at Casa AdolescentHormoneOverdose, things continue to suck without abandon.

Let us all enjoy a bit of an update on the Girl's current situation. But first a bit of a reminder for those that have not been following said saga:

Overdose of teenage hormones
Scummy friend with seriously sticky fingers
Boyfriend without morals
More lies
Pot pipes
Screaming, yelling, spitting in Mom's face, hitting brother
Brother that punches back
More police
Hospital ER
Unsupported claim
Bring home Teen Drama Queen
Set down rules of grounding
Court CHINS involvement
Doesn't follow rules

There, I think we're pretty much all caught up now!

OK, before I get started, take a break and look at this link. You will not regret it.

http://cdn1.ustream.tv/swf/4/viewer.45.swf?cid=317016 They are this breed:


Most adorable things EVER? Keep it up and watch them when they're asleep and awake. I'm so addicted.

Back to her High-Ness at Drama Central

I am trading her in for a new model. That girl is IN-SANE. Trying to have a discussion with her is IMPOSSIBLE. Let's hear it for NVLD. In one ear, twisted around, and out the other with no comprehension whatsoever. It's the cut your nose to spite your face school of adolescence. Kill me now. Please.

We have a meeting with the court juvenile probation officer (who is lovely) today at 3:20. I remind the Girl several times of the appointment and tell her she MUST be home by 2:45. She argues, telling me she'll be home by quarter to three. Sigh. Yeah.

Girls calls me today at 2:55. She's sitting in front of the school, why am I not there to pick her up? Um, because I asked her 10 times this morning if she wanted me to and she gave me the silent treatment and although I am brilliant and funny, I do not parent by osmosis.

I tell her I'll be right there, get into the batmobile and speed my way over to Newton South. And guess what? She's NOT THERE. I drive in the driveway, around the parking lots, no Girl. I do a second turn around the school and spot her. She had taken a ride home but I had already left (my bad!) so they had to go back to school when I drove right past them on my way to get her. Doesn't THAT make sense?

She gets in the car and I'm speeding the entire way through the city to get to the Courthouse on time. We get there and she's not speaking to me, of course. So the Probation officer sits her down and asks her why she's there. She has NO IDEA. NONE!

PO says to her, "How are things going at home" and she says "Fine". I am getting dizzy and faint. The prob. officer tells her that mom has talked to her and that mom has said she's lying, stealing, aggressive, smoking dope, physically abusive, not following curfew....

Girl denies all, and then admits to some. She said she spit in my face, but denies curfew violations. I have to explain that this means coming home after school and she claims to only do this occasionally. OK now! She says she doesn't steal and I mention all the OPI nail polish and she now claims that a kid's mom gave it to her. Right.

PO is nice and talks to her about dope, which she admits she does 'occasionally' and then about paraphrenelia, which she says 'isn't hers' and we explain that anything in MY house belongs to me, and that the pipes ARE illegal, which she refuses to believe. PO sets her straight but I don't think she heard it.

Then PO writes up the CHINS contract and Girl refuses to sign it. PO gets a call and I say to Girl "Which one of your brilliant friends gave you THAT advice and she claims (now this IS amusing) that Officer P, the city Youth Officer, told her that. NVLD much, Girl? I tell PO when she gets off the phone and PO told Girl that she didn't believe her. Um, DUH.

She sort of changes her story, but the gist is, she won't sign it so we have to go to court again next week, Wed at 2. I shake my head and the little witch says "What, you don't want to pay for the gas?" and I say "No, I can't believe you are pulling this. It's only going to make it worse." Then she claims that her housemaster also told her not to sign the contract. AS IF! No way. She's got it totally screwed up in her mind. So now I have to call both housemaster and Officer P and remind them that she is NVLD and they are NOT to give her ANY advice because she will twist it around in her little pea brain.

On the way back we stopped off at the CVS because she asked me politely if we could get her prescription. I agreed, and then she accused me of refusing to go a couple of days ago. I told her she never asked me, and she was OUTRAGED. Of course she did...(NOT). So she started in on how she needed to go to Staples and get a few things, and I said that there was no way that I was going to do her any favors unless she straightened up.

So tonight she actually talked to me semi-politely and is laying on the sofa instead of hiding out in her room. That is a positive step. It's a long way from normality, but we're at least moving at a snails pace in the right direction.

But I gotta say, parenting a kid with NVLD has got to be the most exhausting, infuriating kind of parenting there is. A kid that can't get even half of what is communicated to them without processing it in a skewed manner can drive even sane people to jump off large long high up bridges.

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OpenID madgetastic said...

Sounds like living with a husband who has a closed-head brain injury. Or as I like to call it, Daily Thankless, Insanity-Inducing Head-Banging.


6/11/08 7:32 AM  
Blogger thecatsmeow said...

Oh, wow, Margalit. To get a sight of NLD from the other perspective is a true eye-opener! I was never involved in any sort of illegal activities, but I can completely relate to that motherly exasperation I still get sight of every now and then (fortunately for both of us I'm not living at home anymore).

I can't begin to tell you how many times I've had that experience of "you should get this by now without having to be told a million times" or some version of it. It's no fun from the other side, either, trust me...

Perhaps this will turn into a blog post in the next day or so...you (and your commenter, too) really got me to thinking. Hoping things start getting less crazy very soon...

8/11/08 2:16 PM  

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