Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Nature calls or Smell My Butt Right Now

Oh, this title is gonna kill me on google searches. But it's just so perfectly accurate that I had to use it.

Pepper, that adorable teeny tiny kitten we got this summer, is not so teeny tiny anymore. In fact, it appears that she's becoming a "woman" and shes doing it right before our very eyes. Yesterday she spent much of the day howling by the window, begging to go outside. Which is not on her daily agenda. She's staying inside until she's spayed.

After it dawned on me that maybe she was looking for handsome young dude to come and satisfy her needs, I started calling to make an appointment to have her spayed. I had planned for December 19th already, but I don't think I can take another 10 days of the howl. It's really piercingly irritating. And constant. I called and called, and nobody was answering the phones. I found one online form to fill out, but the form was broken and I gave up after trying literally everything I could think of to get this form to accept my data. Then I called that office and they weren't around either. I left call back info but of course, nobody called me back. Probably because they've laid off their receptionists and have just left their phones on automatic. Who knows?

Pepper decided last night that the Worthless Pet might be just her kinda man. She was jumping over him, putting her butt into his face to smell her aroma, sniffing at his tail and pushing it aside. He was clueless. Living up to his moniker, he was completely Worthless. She was frustrated. Her tail held high for maximum entry, she was offering her precious gift and he was begging to be left alone to eat in peace. She kept trying, complete with yowling. He was growling. Poor guy He just wanted to get her away from him, and she was all coquette-ish and quite the little vixen. Ah, Nature!

This morning, right around 5 am, the yowling started again. Pepper was insistent. She wanted a hot guy and she wanted him now. Nothing I did could dissuade her.

"LET ME OOOOUUUUUTTTT" It was like living with a feline Oprah. Worthless Pet wandered downstairs and Pepper was all over him. Poor guy has no idea what the heck she's on about. His balls are so long gone he probably doesn't ever recall the urge. Plus, old and grumpy with little patience. It was not the most pleasant of very early mornings.

The Girl got up later and was treated to the yowling. When she went to let the Worthless Pet outside because he will not deign to use a litter box, Ms Pepper slipped right out the door, too. The Girl said that she took off like a bat outta hell and resisted being reeled back in with the ritual shaking of the cranberry treats.

An hour later the Boy tried to get her in. Worthless Pet came right in, because it's freaking freezing out and his creaky old bones don't tolerate cold very well. The Boy was outside shaking the treats and running hither and yon trying to catch Pepper for about 15 minutes to no avail. She had a date with the first hot bod that was to cross her path.

Fortunately, there aren't any hot male unfixed (or fixed) cats around. Worthless Pet, in his 4 years of occupancy on this hill, and ensured that no cat every trespass on his domain. About an hour after Pepper left the building, she came back screaming to be let it. She jumped up on her chair and fell fast asleep. Because it's very tough yowling about your needs for hours.

This is going to be a long week.

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