So far, Hanukkah has sucked donkey balls
Second night...sucked less, but still was not great.
Third night....continues the suckage but has escalated due to not one match in the house that I can find, negating lighting the candles, no kids as both are out for the night, no food, and no joy whatsoever.
I think I'm pretty much done with this holiday season.
I have decided I have moved from seasonal sadness to clinical depression. It's day 3 of the can't stop crying bonanza. No longer just a pity party, I'm crying at Pampers commercials (those sleeping babies get to me, what can I say?) as well as stupid books. I have an appointment with a brand new psychopharm in January. I dreaded going but now I'm more accepting. I think it's time to get some help other than the Effexor, which no longer seems to be working.
I'm tired of being stressed. I'm just plain exhausted. I can't seem to bounce back. Parenting teenagers is hard hard work. I know this. Every parent of teens is in the same place I am. We're all feeling defeated and slightly crazed by the whirlwind of hormones that live in our houses. But most other parents have one teen and two parents. I have two teens, both with mood disorders, and I'm only one parent. It's so tiring. It's so freaking hard. Most of the time, I'm OK with it. But when they start trading off on the good kid/bad kid thing, and the craziness never lets up, it's just too freaking much for me. I'm SO done right now.
What do I want for the holidays? A clean house, the dishes done, everything in it's place, and a nice pleasant meal with no fighting. Does this seem like too much to ask? Because right now, in our house, it is asking for the impossible.
Which is why I'm so sad and defeated. I don't want much. Nothing material at all. I just want a clean house and a peaceful meal. And that is too much for my children to deal with. Stumble It! JBlog Me