Let's have a little reading lesson, shall we?

One of the things that drives me the absolute craziest about the hate bloggers is their inability to read. Oh, they THINK they know how to read, but when it comes right down to it, they have no clue as to how to pick up nuances that make a sentence readable. Like the subject, verb and adverbs. I may not be a perfect grammarian, but I did teach writing for 10 years at the university level, and part of my curriculum was how to make a sentence readable. So let's look at some grammar, shall we?

"My cousin Diego's dog Gina had a litter of puppies that are living in his barn."

Who can tell me who owns the dog? Is it me? Or is it my cousin Diego?

Answer: It is my cousin's dog.

"My cousin found Gina as a stray."

Again, is it my dog? Or is it Diego's dog?

Answer: It is Diego's dog.

"My cousin Diego's dog Gina had a litter of puppies that are living in his barn."

Whose responsibility is it that the puppies are living in a barn?

Answer: It is Diego's responsibility, because he owns Gina, the mommy dog.

"Diego was about to have Gina spayed when he found out that Gina had already done the dirty deed with a mystery male dog."

Who should have taken Gina to the vet to have her spayed?

Answer: Diego

Does this have anything to do with me?

Answer: No, not my dog. Not my responsibility.

Okie Dokie, I think we've learned how to parse a sentence to find out the important parts of who is responsible for Gina's fecundity. So blaming "me" for his faults is just plain ignorant. Get it?

Now let's move on to illustrations. Many of us use photos in our posts. We use them to illustrate a small snapshot of time that goes with the post. Those photos are not frozen in stone, nor do they define a person for the rest of their lives. Here's an example:

(posted in 2005) "I made beef stew for dinner tonight using my brand new croc pot. I have never made anything in the croc pot before, and for my initial dinner, it came out really well and the whole family enjoyed it. Here's a picture of the stew simmering in the croc pot.

(posted in 2006) "As a family we have decided to stop eating beef. I'm now looking for beef-less recipes to cook in my croc pot. Someone gave me a Mexican Chicken recipe (photo below) but we didn't really like it. Chicken was too greasy and stringy. Help!"

(posted in 2009) "Due to the economy we have decided to go vegetarian. I'm really excited about it because I've never been much of a meat eater and my daughter hates the stuff. That makes it possible for our family to to eat healthier food, and for me to learn a lot of new recipes. But there is one question I have. Do any of you use your croc pot for vegetarian fare, or should I just dump the darn thing? I love having the croc pot cooking away while we're at work and school, but if I can't use it any more, I'd rather someone else have it."

Hate site comment: "We all saw that photo of her making beef stew so we know she's lying about being a vegetarian."

Let's look at that insanely stupid comment. A blogger posts a photo 4 years ago. Since that time blogger has, on many occasions, talked about the topic of change and illustrated it with subsequent photos.

Is the reader a moron for going back in time and assuming that one data point made 4 years ago is exactly what the blogger's life is always like? YES! Because blogger's make changes in their lives, just like everyone else.

Here's another example.

(2004) I don't like ads on blogs. They disturb the reading and I find them too distracting. If a blog I like has ads, I stop reading it.

(2005) GD ADS! They are everywhere. I'm going to have to learn to live with them, but I'm not putting ads up on MY site."

(2007) Did you guys read that post on XXX's site that says we're all brands? Everyone is so into monetizing their blogs, and some people are making a fortune. I heard that one blogger lives totally off their blog. I have to admit I find that attractive. I still don't love the idea of ads, but I'm willing to listen to all of you who have them, and why? So let's discuss.

(2008) I succumbed and put ads on my site. My hit count was high enough that I knew I could make some money, and I decided to use that monthly check to donate to my favorite charity instead of using it for my family.

(2009) Due to my husband's lost job, I am announcing that I am currently using the money made on advertising for our own family's needs. At some point things will change and hopefully I'll be able to go back to using my ad earnings for charity.

Now lookie here. A blogger has gone from No Ads! to I'm thinking about Ads, to I'm using Ads for charity to I'm using Ads for my family.

How would a hate blogger handle this?

"OMG, did you see Jane's site? She finally admitted that she uses her blog revenue for her own family, not for Charity. What a bitch! I just knew she was lying. And now that her lazy ass of a husband is sitting in his easy chair all day downing Buds instead of working, she makes the excuse that she needs the money. Oh PLEASE! The woman is the queen of mani/padis and spa visits and now she needs money? She's SUCH A LIAR!"

Hate bloggers don't read, they don't know how to extrapolate information over time, and they spend so much of their lives picking apart other people because, let's face it, when your life sucks, why not attack people who have it better than you do and try to pull them down.

I don't like these people and I don't like how they hide behind anonymous names just to laugh at other bloggers. The jealousy pores out of their bodies. They think they're not obvious in their attempt to slay the blogging giants through bullying.

They are wrong. And hopefully, they will learn how to read.

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