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Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Friday, January 21, 2011

Who has it worse?

A well-known and much- loved blogger had a series of strokes last year that left partially paralyzed on her left side. After month and months of rehab, she has been home and recovering, She still blogs, tweets, and facebooks all day, and she is sharp and funny as she ever was. I like her a lot, but occasionally her sense of humor leaves me totally confused. I don't mind when it is self-deprecating humor. I'm right there with her seeing how absurd it is to be young, disabled and forever tired. But sometimes she makes really light of being disabled, and that gives me that ouch feeling. Like this one.  I don't think it is funny at all, but maybe I'm too sensitive. I don't find my life all that funny. I just do not joke about what it means to be so restricted. I don't think being housebound is humorous at all. Sitting for hours watching mindless TV was never my idea of a swell time.

The thing is, this blogger is the honorary spokesperson for the disabled on the mommyblogger scene, and she treats her medical issues very lightly. Which doesn't bode well for the rest of the disabled bloggers.  See, we're all whiney complainers compared to this blogger. Which makes her a more valued blogger when people ask for input. Believe me, disagreeing with her is simply not done. No way, no how.

But... she is well enough to travel to every freaking blogging conference there is. And well enough to go shopping often. And all sorts of other activities. That kinda ticks me off, not because she goes, hell if she can stand crowds of drunken speshul sunshine moms, more power to her. It is the appearance that blogging's number one disabled blogger can do it, so you should be able to. To anyone else, handicapped people are all different from each other and what she can do has nothing to do with what I can do. It reminds me of the old Jewish adage that you should never do anything that might lead someone to assume you are doing wrong. Like if you keep Kosher nobody should ever see you in a McDonalds, even if you only order a drink.

By attending every blogging conference that will sponsor her, she gives the appearance that the disabled can just hop on a plane, stay in a hotel, get all her meals, and drink with abandon.  She probably has never thought of this, but there you go. I do. This is exactly the kind of moral dilemma I love to ponder.

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