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Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Monday, March 07, 2011

I guess we're all amazing

Lately some things about like here in Casa Margalit have surprised me. I always thought that I was resourceful, but the kids tend to drag me down because their expectations of what motherhood is about is seriously out of whack. For example, a couple of days ago while spending time of craigslist (yes, I DO spend an inordinate amount of time perusing that site) I found a job listing that would be perfect for Gemma. I read it to her, and she told me to apply for it for her. Um...no. That is not a part of my mom duties. She was all pissed at me and gave me the "Be a MOM" speech which means I am to do every bit of distasteful or difficult things for her, like applying for college or jobs. So not gonna happen.

But, OTOH, I realized that we have gone more than 6 weeks with no heat. It IS chilly in the house and the one oil-filled space heater we have keeps blowing the fuses, but we're in the upside of spring and I think we'll make it through the winter without frostbite.  I do have to admit that I spend almost all my time in bed under the down comforter. As long as my laptop is plugged in, I'm entertained.

I am living on a bowl of oatmeal a day. Sometimes it is cheerios, but that one bowl of oatmeal keeps me warm and full enough. I miss fruit, but it is too pricy now. The local convenience store sells junkfood. No yogurt. No real cheese, no veg or fruit.

We have made it 3 months with no washer or dryer and only one visit to the laundramat. Of course I have NOTHING clean to put on, but since I'm in bed all day, who cares? The kids have not washed ONE thing in months.

My contract with the RIDE expired and in order to get a new one I have to go to the doctor, which means I have to shower and get dressed. In clean clothes. So not gonna happen. I've cancelled all appointments because I have no way to get there. My doctors are pissed. But what am I gonna do? I can't get there. I've missed 4 doctor appointments. I'm probably miss more. But, knock wood, I haven't been in the hospital in almost a year and I do take my meds.

I have not been outside the apartment in over a month. What am I gonna do, take a stroll around the neighborhood in my nightgown and no underwear? I don't think so.

In conclusion, cold, dirty, undressed, and stagnating but feeling OK as long we don't count my ever growing depression.

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