Have you ever?
I am not all that proud to say that I've done all these things in my past, mostly before I got sick and got really spacey. I know I've always been a bit of a space cadet, but lately I've graduated from cadet to full admiral. I'm telling you, I keep doing and saying things that I can't believe. I'd feel guilty if I remembered half of my faux pas, but my memory is shot and this particular combination of meds I'm taken has turned me into a silly billy. I swear it, I'm not all there.
Take tonight. Please. I went to bed around my normal time, 3ish, and tried to fall asleep but Pepper decided that was a great time to dig to china in her litter box. Dig, scratch, dig some more. I got a tad bit agitated (apoplectic) and started yelling at her but she was undeterred until I threw my shoe at her. She gave up the expedition and went off to complain to Spot about what a bitch I was, while Graham comes out of his room to tell me how insane I am. Does he KNOW me? I'm beyond whacked. Then he goes into the kitchen and microwaves some of MY oatmeal (the organic less calories and less taste kind I like). I give him shit for using mine when there is another kind that he can add maple syrup and brown sugar too, but that is "too hard."
I try to get to sleep but I'm too agitated, what with kitty archaeologists and a wayward kid on my mind, so I decide to look at my Facebook, and then peruse the furniture on craigslist until I realize that I, too am a little peckish. I decide to get some almonds because they are good for my heart, and then I proceed to (wait for it) lay down on my back and eat said almonds while going thru more craigslist forums.
Now any fool knows that eating whilst lying flat on your back is stupid and dangerous. Especially when you are eating something like nuts, which won't dislodge easily if, heaven forbid, they get stuck in your gullet.
Sooooo, guess what happened? Oh yeah. Totally choked on a damn heart healthy raw almond. I should freaking kill the asshat that decided almonds are good for you because they almost killed me tonight. Of course the cats and Graham slept through my desperate coughing so I had to dislodge the nubbin o'nut myself.
I am such an idiot! Stumble It! JBlog Me