Name: margalit
Location: Massachusetts, United States Professional writer, educational advocate, opinionated ultra liberal mother of 18 year old twins, living life in the slow lane due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.

email: margalitc at yahoo dot com

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Monday, April 04, 2011


As anyone that has read even a few mommy bloggers for a long period of time knows, this group of grown up women often act like middle school mean girls more times than they care to admit. There is the subgroup that makes jokes about themselves and their bitchy meanness. There are those that blame everything on a single poster that had the audacity to disagree with them. There are those that urge on their readers to stand up and verbally fight the dissenters. And my personal favorite, the present one sweet face on your blog but really be a vicious bitch behind the scenes in email. I'm also fond of the posse mentality that permeates this world.

I'm more inclined to like the bloggers that stay away from the fray, but I'm also very partial to the few, the proud, and the opinionated who go against the grain and refuse to be kowtowed by the mean girls of mommyblogging.

There have been some interesting developments recently in the mommy world. The incredible dull and whiter than white vblog Momversations, is being recognized as the uncool thing to be involved in, primarily because there are no women of color and every woman on there is well-to-do and live comfortably with their husband's salary and the loving help of assistants and nannies. Life is tough for these mommys as they discuss potty training and nursing. None of their kids are teens and/or young adults. They haven't yet met the REAL parenting bugaboos of sex, drugs, and rock & roll yet.

The other controversy over there is how much money is pouring in thru advertising and paid public appearances. One poster that is particularly annoying wrote a whole long post about how HARD she works getting all of those free trips to Disneyland while she is (gasp) parenting her 2 young kids. She went on and on about the rigors of her "career" as a mommy blogger, if we only knew the pain. It is so hard, she had to (gasp) hire an assistant. Boo hoo hoo. Of course she claims she's making bundles of money but the real number is not up for us to fawn over. She's too scared that she might get a negative response. Horrors! She goes on to say how a differing take on her worthiness to get negative attention was bizarre. Girl seem to think there is only one way, and it is her way.

I find all this mommy blogging angst particularly amusing since my past job as a professional corporate technical writer was about six thousand times harder than writing some blog posts designed to solicit even more funds for their coffers. I worked at home in my sunroom home office with my babies around the first two years, and then in daycare and school as they grew older. I did this without a husband or his salary to back me up. I did it without constant trips to social gatherings called "conferences". And I certainly had no assistant. The last salary I earned was $160,000 and it was all mine. I sent two kids to private school, overnight camps, and various lessons. And I did it all on my own. I had to research highly technical information and turn it in to usable prose. I needed to learn several programming languages and many software programs. Most of the time I wrote either in Framemaker or XML. I had to supervise fellow employees, do program management, and as my career topped out, learn how to change to a usability position in my copious spare time. No free trips to Disneyland and very few social gatherings. The conferences I did attend were to learn something new and I went on my own time. No drinking or hamburger parties, no "guest list invites" to exclusive events held be advertisers. Mine was a real job, 49 weeks a year, 10 hours per day average with crunch times all nighters as part of the package, I had to interface with printers, stay up on inventory, work with technical trainers and create my own graphics. It was not a wimpy job choice I made, and it commanded a lot more respect than it was given. Engaging with engineers on a daily basis was enough to earn me a medal of honor. Not! But I did this job for 22 years before I got sick.

So pardon me if I don't feel like falling to my knees in supplecation for the mommy bloggers. I just wish they would shut up about their tough lives for once. Because EVERY working mom would love to have a rich husband, a nice house, good schools for their kids and a little extra for something nice. Most working moms do not have these niceties, but they complain a lot less and don't spend precious moments trying to justify why they are advertiser's bitches.

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Blogger bethany actually said...

You know, I find I'm mostly just not that interested in people with those lives and either I quit reading their blogs or I never started in the first place. There are one or two rare exceptions because they are exceptionally good writers...but even those I rarely read.

4/4/11 12:16 PM  

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